- Yes, emotionally & mentally.
- Yes, mentally and physically.
- Yes, I'm still in it.
- No, but I've watched someone go through it.
As a result, I'm terrified of any type of intimacy that leads to me giving my trust. Even when if I do I always stay aware & alert. I'm very cautious and always on the edge of my seat with people as if they are going to turn on me any second. I feel like I'm always being lied to or manipulated by people. I'm working on this everyday.
Most Helpful Guy
I've been in a relationship with a guy who was absolutely void of empathy. He lied ALL. THE. TIME. to the point I couldn't trust him with anything important, that was very frustrating. He would badmouth and become jealous of any friend I dared bring around and made a good number of mine cut contact with me. He didn't take to the word "No" if what I had was anything he really wanted. Ultimately the relationship was a toxic mess, but I was afraid to leave him because of threats of violence. The first I ever had was better, but terribly selfish. He swore me out a few times, would guilt me to get his way and raped me once when I was bedridden for a week with a bad virus. He "needed sex", even while I was barely able to keep my eyes open as I fought vomiting in my high fever induced delirium. Understandably, that was the end. It's one of the most painful memories I hold to this day. I know a thing or two about abusive relationships.
Most Helpful Girl
I was with a guy like this - extremely emotionally unstable and manipulative. He spoke to me like a literal child and refused to speak to me in any other way. He constantly pressured me into changing my appearance, such as shaving all of my hair off (which I never did. because F that!) and he cheated on me all the time too, denying it every time even after his mistress contacted me. There were even a few occasions when I hinted that I wanted out and he threatened to kill himself either by jumping from his 10th floor balcony or grabbing a blade.
I put up with that crap for two years. The guy I dated directly after him couldn't handle the affect it had on me, stating that I was clearly still "in love with him" because I bragged about how good the sex was (erm? I complained that he pressured me into sex)
And to top it off, that same guy I dated directly afterwards... was in some ways sexually abusive. He would constantly try to push me into having sneaky sex with him in public places including public bathrooms or down at the park or take me back to his apartment just for sex. He would even without warning attempt slip his hands into my bra or my underwear in public and get angry with me when I objected to his behaviour. The rest of the time, he would piss off and hang out with other girls and would enjoy his time with them more than he would if he actually hung out with me.
How has this left me? Pretty fragile. My most recent boyfriend was really good about my fragile ego up until his father pressured him into leaving me. -.-