Why do I always end up dating players?

I know kind of a typical topic.. But I guess I'm going through a break up with who I thought was a nice guy (I'm in my 20's, I can pretty much tell if someone's being real with me). He seemed sensitive to mental health problems (like he'd have a a simple respect for most people) and had been cheated on before so knew how hurtful it was.
I went on a trip for a month and I'm 90% sure he was on Tinder while I was gone. I have no idea if he actually cheated. But I did find a picture of him having just taken a body shot off of a girl at a bar.
And I recently saw on one of his ex's profiles that he cheated on her...
Now I can see he's moving on quickly.

I know this is how some people can be after a break up. They move right along which is pretty much what I'm doing.
I'm actually enjoying being single though :)
but I guess I've realized that most of the guys I've dated have been this way. I know that people can seem different at first (that whole saying: for the first 3 months, it's a representative. After that, they're real with you). But I read this guy completely wrong. If you had asked me if he was capable of this two months ago, I would've bet money he wouldn't be.
It's a little disorienting.

Are there any early signs of players? Are most people in their 20's like this? Do you just get lucky dating the right person?
And sorry but don't just tell me to date a nice guy. I thought I was.
Thank you!


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Good players are so good at being fake that they don't give out any signs. Players will be the best boyfriend material until they got you and after they just move on - cos they're players. A big sign is asking him what the longest relationship he had. If he hadn't had a relationship longer than 6 months - then it's a sign. Players also have a lot or exes. Players will always feel fearless and controlling. Sadly in order to find a good partner in your life - you gotta get through all the dicks first.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • If they're good at being a player, you don't know you were being played until the end. It's just unfortunate you came across such a guy.

    Most of the people I've ever dated were friends, so I knew their personalities beforehand. So I didn't get lucky per say, I knew them really well and our mutual friends also knew them really well. I guess it decreases the chances of dating a player because he would've had to put a lot of effort to not only fool me, but also fool all of his friends for YEARS.

    I wouldn't say most people in their 20's are like this. On the flip side, I think a lot of us just really want to find someone special and we're just all failing. But I do find that people in their 20's who are just a bit too smooth, a bit too practiced, they tend to be players.

    Maybe you have a type that you like and that type happens to fit most players? Like if you like really smooth guys who are out to have a good time, maybe that's what most players are. I will say that most of the friends I've dated were homebodies, they would feel out of place at a bar/party.

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What Guys Said 4

  • Cause that's the thing. You won't know they're a player until later in the relationship when he gets comfortable. Mostly everyone puts up a front at the beginning because they're afraid to be themselves. He's not worth youe time.

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  • Cause u like the playa playas

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  • Well how long did you know him before dating and how long was it before he broke up with his ex

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  • There are no signs at first, they're good at what they do

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What Girls Said 0

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