We have been together for 5 years , and I knew she had been wanting to get married and start our life together. I had been playing music nationally touring for most of that time.. this last year she really started showing signs wanting to get married.. i told her I was going to quit the band and come home and make everything right..
it was tough for me to get the ball rolling as I was hooked deeply into the music career, and money was tight.., but I was on a path of doing just what I said I'd do.. i slowed the band down to a hault and started being home more and started doing odd jobs to save money and I had planned on asking her by winter of this year... then BOOM.. she got the news she has Endometriosis.. her world turned upside down... I instantly quit the band and got a job , helped her deal with surgeries medical issues.. and then out of no where she tells me she needs time to figure out her happiness.. (break up)
She tells me she resents me because I waited to long... and now feels like the only reason I'm finally here for her is because of the break up and medical issues.. which is not the case.. it just moved all my plans up a few months..
this is week 4 of me trying to do everything I can to get her back and currently we just hang out but we don't discuss anything.., all I get is (I don't want to talk about it) and she has said she resents me for waiting too long..
what can I do to prove I have been wanting the same things.. and have been working towards our goals? Life just kinda happened before I got the chance to man up.
Most Helpful Girl
You know, part of me gets it. Endo aside - you've spent how much time getting your ducks into a row before meeting her needs? When really, if you really wanted to you could have proposed and gotten engaged before doing all of that and cemented your position on the matter as you felt it.
Added to that endo is hard to deal with, so that stress amplifies everything. Resentment at you for taking so long so she has to question your true intentions. Also that she could have been married and on her way to having children (if that's something she wants) by now is another "what if".
Another facet is the fertility issue. If you did want children she could potentially block that for you and that is a HUGE burden to wear for someone. I have stage 4 endo and have tried for many years to give my husband children and the guilt and shame about failing to do so is enormous.
I understand your perspective too though, and that you've worked so hard and sacrificed to have it rejected. If you're really serious about being with her then I'd be patient. And persistent so she knows you're not going anywhere but don't let her drag this out for too long. You deserve to be happy too2
Most Helpful Guy
if its serious she won't just leave you over not marrying her, she seems like she wants marriage more than the man she loves2