So my ex girlfriend and I broke up last year. I broke up with her. I was really bitter about my ex and i's break up before I got with her. We lasted a month and it was mostly sexual. She wound up telling me she loved me after 3 weeks. She went to Florida for a summer internship then I broke up with her. Then I started regretting it and realized that I was just bitter over what had happened with my ex before her. I reached out trying to get her back but she was still angry and didn't want me back. I told her if she truly never wanted me back to tell me and I would leave her alone for ever. So she did and I stuck to my word. Then a couple of month later she reached out to me. Wanting to start talking to me again. I was still wanting her back so I did. Except she was just wanting to be friends with benefits. I didn't want that I wanted a real relationship with her but since she said she would be moving to Florida she didn't want a relationship. I told her I was sorry and couldn't go through with that because I new one or both of us would end up with a broken hart and I didn't want that. Fast forward a 6 months later I run into her and her new boyfriend and found out that she decided not to leave for Florida yet. Her and her new boyfriend seem happy together and I'm really depressed because if I would have known she wasn't leaving to Florida that could have been me with her not this new guy. I feel like I screwed up and feel like a bad person. Did I screw up? Why is this bothering me so much?
I feel like I screwed up. It could be me that she's with if I had risked it. The whole reason why I didn't want to peruse something with her again was because she said she just wanted friends with benefits since she would be moving in 4 months from then. I didn't want either one of us to get hurt because I was for sure that's what was going to happen. I was already feeling paranoid over the whole thing. If I would have known she was going to stick around I would have persued our relationship again. Did i mess up?
She's the only girl that has ever said she loved me. I feel like I will never have that again. I don't know if I'm depressed because I'm lonely or because I was in love with her. Or what. I was totally fine and only thought about her occasionally until I found out she was still here and has a boyfriend. Any thoughts?