My ex and I were together for 8 years. We have kids and we lived together. Things got pretty bad. He was emotionally abusive and I didn't even see it. It got to the point where I genuinely thought I was worthless and couldn't make a decision on anything. He convinced me to do threesomes with a friend of his even though I didn't want to, during the threesomes the other person gave me a confidence boost and I realized how low I was. I lost respect for him and ultimately fell out of love. That's when I finally started sticking up for myself. I almost left him, he almost left me, we stuck it through for another year and he honestly turned himself around and became an amazing person. But the damage was done and my feelings for him did not return. So I ended it. He moved out. And the guilt kills him. I have found suicidal notes, and he talks to me about how he feels like he's the worst thing to happen to me. I feel terrible. He lives with his mom now and when the kids are with him the three of them sleep on the floor. I feel like I've put him in such a crappy place and I can't get over the guilt. I thought I'd be helping him by not leading him on, but I feel like maybe this is worse. How do I get over this?