I broke up with him and completely devastated him and I feel terrible, what can I do?

My ex and I were together for 8 years. We have kids and we lived together. Things got pretty bad. He was emotionally abusive and I didn't even see it. It got to the point where I genuinely thought I was worthless and couldn't make a decision on anything. He convinced me to do threesomes with a friend of his even though I didn't want to, during the threesomes the other person gave me a confidence boost and I realized how low I was. I lost respect for him and ultimately fell out of love. That's when I finally started sticking up for myself. I almost left him, he almost left me, we stuck it through for another year and he honestly turned himself around and became an amazing person. But the damage was done and my feelings for him did not return. So I ended it. He moved out. And the guilt kills him. I have found suicidal notes, and he talks to me about how he feels like he's the worst thing to happen to me. I feel terrible. He lives with his mom now and when the kids are with him the three of them sleep on the floor. I feel like I've put him in such a crappy place and I can't get over the guilt. I thought I'd be helping him by not leading him on, but I feel like maybe this is worse. How do I get over this?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Counseling might help all of you. Its helped me. But first let me say you "DID NOT" put him there, he did it himself. You know I've got to run out and be back, not yet. I went to counseling and most employers cover it. I still see the only counselor I know, for 35 years now. I obviously have to $ pay myself but,, its worth it. He pretty much beat you down for 8 years and the kids see it. I cannot stress how much I believe in just having the space to go talk to someone who A) doesn't know you (B) doesn't judge you, (C) gives good sound advice. Try to get himself to get counseling, but not for getting back together, so he dont hurt himself! I stared counseling when I was 18-19, overwhelmed with marriage, newborn, job, college and verge of nervous breakdown, alcoholic etc. I'm telling you if its available please consider. I wish you the best.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • How long was he being a good guy to you?

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What Guys Said 6

  • If you really wanna get this over with.. just bring those kids back to your place..( hope you're able to keep them..) ask your ex to work properly and earn so as to make the kids feel good about his dad.

    Secondly.. i don't think you should just feel bad and no respect for yourself.. you gave tour vest shot.. but not now! And now that you're in guilt.. you may need to get back to him.. coz 8 years is a big big time. You can't afford any new relationship as of now.. you won't have to demean yourself.. but.. for kids sake.. hang in there.. You are equally responsible for them too.. right!

    May God be with both'f you!

    Hope this helps

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  • First off you made the right choice. It was too late. Definitely he needs help from a psychologist and come to grips he made his bed now he has to lay in it. You as well need to realize you can't get back with him. That was horrible and that decision was final. And it's not yoir fault he is being this way. He was an asshole for years! he's finally realizing it and needs help.

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  • Move on, but you still have kids together so you have to be involved in each other's life for their sake and so they have both their parents in their lives. So I suggest being a good support for him but make it clear it's nothing more than a platonic relationship so he doesn't get any ideas. Hopefully he gets better and you can start to repair. You shouldn't feel bad. You deserved better and realized it so you know you are on a different path. Continue on that path

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  • well I would say breaking up with him was a good thing to do, you were to Good to him and you deserve someone better. you should have left him the day when he asked you to do a threesome..
    I guess to overcome this you should start dating that might help you.

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  • Leave him alone, no contact. Move on with your life.

    Why shacking up doesn't work.

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  • Find other cock... Suck Cock everyday. u will be k

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