When you break up because he never wants children?

After one amazing year with an amazing man, we were about to move in together. We started talking more and more about our future together. He is 33 and I am 27. It became clear we wanted different things. I wanted children, but he just wanted me. We made the decision to end our relationship because somewhere down the track one of us would not be happy with the life we gave the other. Is it more important to love your life or is just loving the person enough?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • It sucks that you two had to breakup but I would say what you did is completely justifiable. You clearly know what you value and he wouldn't have been able to provide that. It might hurt now but in the long run you saved yourself a bunch of pain.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • If you have different goals there's no point in staying together. You'll find someone who likes you AND wants kids

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 11

  • Did the subject of kids ever come up early in your relationship or was it avoided? Were you worried about scaring him off initially and thought he would want them after awhile?
    “love your life..=.. loving the person” this needs to be balanced (or be equal) so if kids will be a big part of your life then this would no longer be equal.

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    • It came up earlier and even though he wasn't keen he thought he would change his mind. As things became more serious, the conversation became more realistic and less hypothetical.

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    • very neat.

    • Ah! That personality type does not go with kids. Oil and water. Think smelly diapers, cleaning butts, food all over the place, rubbing their poop on the walls.
      Test the next guy up front-$hit test npi..

  • no I don't think I could compromise on having kids, its a huge part of life later on. plus family reunions would be boring without them

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  • You've got to be on the same page if it's going to work.

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  • You have to enjoy your life. A woman, no matter how wonderful, who didn't want kids would be a no-go for me.

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  • I think not having kids is kinda selfish Tbh. imagine if your parents were as selfish as you and decided not to have you but instead they had you anyway and yet you grew up as a spoiled prick who feels so entitled to live the life of his dreams that he can't comprehend creating something with the love of his life that's a greater treasure than seeing every inch of this shitty planet

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  • You've got to be able to see yourself happy in a relationship in 10, 20 and 50 years in the future. If

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  • well to my opinion you have to compromise or you have to understand. there's a huge difference betweeen these two things. that guy was not sincere with you because he just wanted his own good not for you. better to leave him alone a live your own life

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  • What's the rush?
    talk about no communications.
    he's still figuring if he can live with you, and your dragging somebody else in..
    How loud is that biological clock ticking?

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    • i didn't want to bore everyone with the full story. the conversation was about starting to having children in 4 years. if he didn't want any there is no point spending our time together when we know its going to end... so actually only good communication.

    • didn't want? you dating a single child? ask him why..
      Any B. S. answer and he's too full of himself, and you should suggest he have a vasectomy. he have kids already? That might be why (financial? )..

    • he is a single child. finance is in no way an issue.

  • Both are equally important. It's stupid to choose just one.

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  • why doesn't he want kids?

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    • Thinks they are a waste of money and space. And want to spend is life seeing the world instead

    • those don't seem like good enough reasons to not want children

  • You could have done what women have done for years and had an "oopsie."

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    • not my style.

    • You'll think differently when you ram full speed into The Wall. In about 2 years.

What Girls Said 3

  • I went through the exact same thing a few months ago. We loved eachother but i loved my hope to have kids even more.

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  • well you want kids and he doesn't

    i think you did the right thing

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  • in the long run, if you give in to his "no kids" tag, you'll end up regretting it. I think you'll find someone more amazing.
    you know it's alright for people with opposite opinions to like each other. contradictions make life more interesting. or settling for your partner's opinion might keep peace. but there are some things that should never be compromised.

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