Tired of crying?

I feel like an idiot crying over him all the time. He has moved on I guess I don't know. He doesn't want to talk to me but seems like he is keeping me around as backup again. We have been married so long and now it seems he has been at least seeing and flirting with other females. which life happens people fall out of love but don't keep me on a back burner while you go through some midlife crisis. We could have worked through it but you needing space and all was just so you could feel ok about doing what you're doing. I don't know what to do. I'm still in love with him but he doesn't want a divorce either and I don't but yet maybe I need it. why can't he just be honest with himself and with me. the few times we have talked I am doubting the honesty of his words. That is awful. why lie or be dishonest? I am just confused is all and it's hard to decide what to do while feeling in limbo. has anyone ever been in this type of situation? How did it work out? I'm not waiting forever that is for sure.
Tired of crying?
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