How to deal with a long distances break up?

I got out of a relationship a few months ago. But it's still pretty rough for me. I still love the guy, I really do, but it's just... hard. Unfortunately, we never got the chance to meet because of how much it would cost, plus he needed to renew his passport & I had to get one. Our relationship was a BDSM one, so it wasn't the normal boyfriend/girlfriend kind. Even though we couldn't meet just yet, we Skyped literally 24/7. & I do mean 24/7, we never ended the calls & if the call was to drop then we would quickly fix the problem & get back on Skype. It was just... perfect. Well, clearly not since we aren't together anymore... Anyways, so I have been trying to reach out to him to HOPEFULLY start over, you know, take one step at a time. Be friends again & the likes of that. The attempts have been... well, lots of trial & error. Although he did come back one day to talk, which I thought it was a positive step, but maybe not.. He said he still needs more time, which is totally fine, I mean, he didn't tell me that we are never going to talk again, just that he needs more time still... I guess I don't want to deal with this break up, but more so as to, what do you guys think? Do you know something that I can say to him to maybe get us talking again? Has this happened to you & were you able to talk to him again? If so, what did you do? & keep in mind, it was long distances, so I can't just up & go to his house. Or even text or call his cell phone. So, the only way I can send him something is through his Steam account by posting a comment on a screenshot of his. Not how I would like to do it, but I don't have any other way. Besides sending a letter, which is not the best because his mom could see it, since he still lives at home for the time being. So please, can you help in anyway to make me have a chance at talking to him again? & don't just tell me to move on, get it enough from my bestfriend, which is stupid because she can't even move on from her ex too.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • It seems as though you don't respect yourself enough which is a pity since you seem like someone who's got so much to give. "If the answer was no there's a better yes waiting you along the way". "The only truly tragic relationships, the ones worth mourning, would be the ones where both people wanted desperately to belong. And this wasn't at the end, despite all promising signs, that kind of relationship at all". You shouldn't even question if you need to move on, so here a few tips on how to do so from a fellow devastated soul:
    - Start and end your days with positive thoughts and reassurances. I'd suggest downloading app called AlwaysPositive, download a lot of quotes and read them out loud. Believe what you are saying because you are indeed good enough the way you are.
    - Don't do anything about the guy, try to push him as far as possible from your life. Ideally you'd want to replace past experiences with new ones.
    - Try to love yourself more because yourself deserves more attention. Try to define what you'd like to ideally be, look for your greatest ambitions and get a better picture of who you really are. Key to our happiness always lays within ourselves.
    - Get up early, don't stay up too late, try to get rid of overthinking and keep yourself busy with something you find meaningful.

    Don't try to desperately get him back, no wants to have a relationship with their fans and you are his atm.

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    • It might be easier for some people to just move on, but it certainly is not for me...

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    • Awh! Give it a go whenever you feel like doing so. :)

    • Of course, thank you! & you can do the same too! (although, I can't really send out the first PM to anyone till I'm a higher Xper... 😒)

Most Helpful Girl

  • Does he still love you?

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 22

  • Others have said it already, long distance relationships never work out.

    Lift your head up and find some one else that both makes you happy and can fuck you well.

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  • Long distance relationships never work. Thats prolly why you two broke up. You need to forget and move on or else its going to eat you the rest of your life. there are plenty of more fish in the sea. Definitly deny contact forever... or you are just going to miss him more. You shoulnt care if he dates another girl because he is not yours anymore. Its like he is not in your life aymore. Move on. Find another boyfriend

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    • They do work, they're not impossible. Just really hard, even more so when there's more distance.

  • I had a long distance relationship back in my teen years. Just know that long distance relationships will always crash and burn and that you will find someone closer to home which will be better as you can see them and spend as much time with them as you like. It's hard when you start missing a connection you had with someone but you will find better 😊

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  • I'm currently in a long distance relationship and gotten out of one. It's hard they give u the emotional. Affect that u need but u need that physical affection too. I understand where u coming from when u guys breaks up its hurts a lot. U will find someone closer that is way better trust me

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  • It is tough... masturbation always helps.

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    • Hahaa, yes I suppose that is true. It helps & it feels good too.

    • Enjoy the great orgasms... another great guy will enter your life when you least suspect it. LDRs are tough... try for someone closer?

    • Maybe.. But I guess I just have a thing for guys that are far away, kinda sucks.

  • Sounds creepy how much you claim to Skype each other. 24/7 and if the call drops yyouget back on Skype asap. Makes it sound like you two did another else with you lives beside Skype. Long distance relationships are hard since you do not get to be around each other much. You should just try to forget him.

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    • Even though we were on Skype everyday we still had other things to do. Like he had work & I had school. He chilled with his friends & as did I. & I know LDR are hard, because you can't be with the other. That's the main reason we always stayed on Skype, we always got to see each other, which made it a bit easier.

  • First of all do yourself a favour and move on
    Second you'll easily forget him when you'll find a better guy than him so just find someone else

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  • move on... if he isn't giving you shit than you have too... you will find a better than him like me instead 😉

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  • I'm in the exact same position, lived with someone for 3 years in her country, moved back for a year to do college and got dumped after 3 months. thought we were perfect for each other and she even said so many times. came out of no where and I still love her to bits but will never get to speak to her again. no idea what to do myself I don't know if I can ever get over it, or ever find someone else.

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    • you and be both bro. feels numbing at times but I'll tell you what my best friend told me. one day at a time.

  • Man, you girl are way too Emo and clingy.

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    • Cool. Don't see how you could've got any sort of Emo from what I wrote but whatever, mate. 👌

    • Don't even listen to that guy, he seems like a heartless dumbass
      I had a break up more than a year ago, and I still couldn't move on completely either, so I get how you're feeling
      Why did the breakup happen? It is an important thing to know before deciding what to do
      In some cases, I would agree with your best friend that you should move on, because there's a level where it gets really unhealthy and bad for you, and moving on is the only thing you can do
      But maybe the reason for the breakup wasn't that bad that it can't be fixed, so I need more information before being able to tell you what I think you should do

  • Girl... you gotta let it go and start finding someone for you... long distance works but not in your case... let it go and start ahead refresh!

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  • You will be okay, just don't give up on finding someone new. In fact, make a few friends and stay active, that way you have your mind on something else

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  • make new frnds.. date someone.. get urself busy.. do everything that can divert your mind..

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  • He's clearly not interested so unfortunately I recommend you move on. you're just going to come off as a stalker.

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  • long distance sucks. the best way I found its interest with real people so that person is it off mind out of sight

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  • I can't tell you how to deal with it but I can't say this it should have been taught up whenever you got involved with long distance

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  • long distance never works out. might as well try soemthing else. like in person

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  • Just move on it's life lol

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  • go and find someone new

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  • block him

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  • dont give up
    sure u know how to get him back
    u said u talking 24/7 u will find it

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What Girls Said 1

  • I'm in a long distance relationship for over a year, how long have you two been together?

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    • We were together for almost a year too.

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    • Well it might sound a little bit weird but, did he talk about having a future with you as marrying you and have children with you? Does he remind you everyday about how much he loves you?

    • It's not weird at all. We didn't talk all that much about marriage, but we did talk some about children. Hmm, I mean, we said "I love you" everyday, there were days where we showed the other that we really loved them, we just didn't do it everyday.

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