Am I being a ho?

My ex and I broke up like 3 months ago. I hate to say it like this, but it was his fault. During the relationship he was really, REALLY jealous, and sometimes verbally abusive. I got tired of that.

Shortly after, I met another guy. He's nice and well, I'm a bit attracted to him. I mean, if it wasn't because so little time has passed since a I broke up with my ex, I'd probably date him.

I still have some feelings for my ex, but I know it's better to move on. The problem is, despite the fact that he KNOWS I don't want him back, he just won't let go. He continues to talk to me. He says he knows what he's doing and that he's fully aware I'm single, blah blah, that it's only because he loves me and misses me so much. I insist it'd be better for him to quit contacting me, but he insists he knows what he's doing.

I don't want to hurt him. He doesn't really know I've been talking to this guy. I mean, he's still very jealous of every other guy who even talks to me.

I don't want to hurt him. As a matter of fact, I thought of waiting until he moved on, or just got over me to start dating, no matter how much time it took him, only because I don't want to hurt him more than I already have. I mean, my friends tell me he's a douche and he doesn't deserve my compassion after everything he did to me. But still, I don't want him to suffer more. He's suffered enough after the break up already.

It seems like he'll never move on, though, and this new guy appeared too early into my life. I think I'm being a ho, keeping this guy hidden from my ex, with whom I still talk. Don't get me wrong, I've tried going no contact, but he doesn't let me. I also still have some feelings left for him. I mean, I won't really date the new guy until later on, if I date him at all.

I'm really confused, any advice would be appreciated! Just to give you an idea of things, my ex really, really thinks I'm the love of his life and wants to marry me and have kids, etc. He says there's no one else, and that makes me feel so bad because I'm already meeting new guys! I feel so guilty.


Most Helpful Guy

  • First off you aren't being a ho haha. An ex is an ex for a reason..and sooner or later he's gonna accept that he is your ex and he's now just a part of your past, not your future. a lot of relationships go through stages like this, my brother for example..he left his wife 2 years ago and she's still finding ways to communicate with him and tell him how much she misses him and blah blah blah, you know it all haha. At the end of the day, you just gotta do what makes you happy..i know you don't want to hurt him but you ultimately gotta think about yourself and put yourself first, whatever you feel is best for you. It's a good idea to not rush into anything with the other guy you've met, a lot of time that's the start of a relationship that is gonna end badly, so kudos for that. It pretty much just comes down to looking out for yourself...people like you are good and I'm the same way, I'd be the same about my ex. But him not being able to accept that you aren't and no longer will be together isn't your problem, it's his. Hope this helps and I didn't confuse you much haha. I tend to ramble


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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 3

  • Sorry but I think you are kind of being a ho.. Think of his feelings dear.

  • if you don't break contact with him, you won't be able to get over him and move on. Your ex is trying to control you even if you aren't in a relationship. Maybe date some other people and maybe you will realize he is not so great after all.

  • I didn't bother to read this, but I'm going to say yes.


What Girls Said 2

  • You're allowed to be with who you want to be with.

    You might want some time off after breaking up, and not move on so quickly, but whoever you want to be with, your ex shouldn't have a say on it.

  • You're not being a ho hunni. Trust me sweetie you don't want to be in any kind of an abusive relaionship. It starts off not too bad but it only gets worse. If you aren't ready for another relationship then tell the new guy that for now you just need a friend and time to get over your ex. Don't feel guilty. Someone who sees you as marraige material won't abuse you in any shape form or fashion and if he does he's a douchebag and you don't want to spend your life like that. Stop feeling bad for him because he needs to learn how to treat women before he even thinks of proposing. Start distancing yourself. Let him know once again that you are done with the relationship, you are going to be talking to other guys and its time he moved on and you don't want to talk to him anymore after that if he texts you don't answer. If he calls you don't pick up. You deserve to be happy and guilt free and this new guy deserves a chance.


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