My boyfriend broke up with me 2 weeks ago, but still keeps texting, calling, etc. Is he not over me?

He seemed upset when he broke up with me (since I didn't get emotional, just was fine with it). he laughed and thought I was being sarcastic, and seemed to not be happy that I was OK with the breakup. and said with a hurt and pushy tone,"wow, you seem relieved, I guess this is the right thing then." I reminded him (as I had said the last time things got CLOSE to a breakup), that I cared about him too much for him to feel "miserable" staying in our relationship, and that I want someone who really WANTS to be with me. he remembered that, and realized I wasn't being sarcastic. then as soon as I got off the phone he saw that I changed my facebook status to "single" and texted "wow, the whole web knows you're single. sorry I held you back." I didn't respond. then he emailed me a couple days later apologizing for the texts, and saying he was shocked that I seemed happy and ready to date someone else, and offered to drop my things off at my house. I texted that I didn't have time to reply to his email now, but that he could drop the things off that night. that night, he called (clearly sounded like he had been crying), saying awkwardly that it probably wasn't a good idea to call, but that he was on his way to drop off my things, and wanted to know if I was home, even though it didn't matter, since he'd only be leaving them on the porch. (then he sent two text messages after that as well). I didn't reply, except to send him a text the next morning saying, "thank you :)" then, he took a trip to see female friends and ex girlfriends in Vegas, then a couple days after he got back, he sent me this text: "Hi, I was wondering if you felt like texting or talking, is it too soon? I don't like the abrupt silence, after all we've been through, or is it best for now? I'm sorry if I'm making things worse, it's not my intention. I just want you to know that I'm here for you anytime, even if I know I'm not the right person to tell you that. all I wanna say is that I love you and I hope you're OK." Is he over me, and just seeking friendship, or is he missing me, or wishing we could still be together? and how should I reply to that text? even though I'm still in love with him, and cry every day from the breakup, he had me on an emotional roller coaster, and I don't want that anymore. that's why I've not replied to his attempts to contact me.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • WOW girl I wish I had the "balls" you've got and handle my ex teh way you have! I think that's the reason why he acts like he does, because you have played it so cool. I commend you! I don't know why men break up with women and then turn around and be babies about it and wonder why. I know how hard it is because I am going through it myself. I agree that you do not need this kind of treatment from him. Maybe he broke up with you to see what your reaction was. either way, he did not expect you to bounce back so quickly like yoiu did. what is your secret and can you tell me how to be brave like you?

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    • Thank you. that makes me feel better. you're so sweet. there's no secret. just choose if you don't want to put if with his treatment, (realizing that being dramatic or telling him you love him will not make him come back to you, and that you can't make someone love you). that's the only way they don't have control over you any more - as long as you get dramatic, they have power over you...and then trust that time will help it get better and better, even though it seems impossible.

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What Guys Said 1

  • Sounds like you don't really like him. Maybe see some other people, give it some time, if its meant to be you will find a way, but from what you are saying and doing you don't have any feelings for him, maybe you like the attention he gives you.

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    • Actually I'm in love with him & cry every day. I wish we were still together. but he broke up w me, so I'm not going to chase someone who doesn't want me, and I didn't reply because I didn't want to be on his emotional roller coaster. I figure its for the best, since he made me feel bad, so I deserve better. I wanted to be w him, even though he acted so happy, then so miserable over & over. now he's trying to hook up w other chicks, yet still texting me, so I guess I need to move on.

What Girls Said 2

  • It sounds to me like he's a bit insecure and wounded, and was hoping it would be just as painful for you as it is for him. The relationship isn't working out, so sometimes its best not to get back together despite your feelings (even though that seems impossible!). Its difficult knowing how to behave with your ex after ward. He clearly still wants you in his life. I would recommend just letting him know that a separation period is crucial after a break up, and that you need some time to adjust and have your own separate life. Tell him you'll talk to him when you're ready, and that you're sorry he's hurting.

    He seems to still have some feelings for you, but that's not enough to make a relationship work. :/ I think he is seeking friendship, and some connection to you.

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    • Thanks. that makes a lot of sense.

  • i'm gonna be honest I didn't read the whole thing ha ha it's a lot. but from what I read, I think he just wants you to feel something from the break up. I had a boyfriend for year and a half and we broke up almost two years ago. we just recently started talking again and it's mostly my fault. I knew he never got over me but he started to talk to other girls so I reached out to him. I think your ex is in my position a little bit. he wants to go out and do his thing, but he doesn't want the same for you. I think he wants you to be depressed over the fact that you two aren't together anymore. to me I think your best bet is to stay away from him, you can do better girl.

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    • Thank you! I need all the support I can get. this is much harder than I thought it would be.

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