It's complicated?

This is really bad... I'm married and I fell for this guy. He sounded so amazing, but then the lies poured in. Found out he had a girlfriend. Two kids from a different women. Then married! Has 5 fb profiles. My husband found out and made me end it. I did, but I can't stop thinking about him. My husband threatened him to stay away with a written letter by his lawyer. He won't talk to me now. He knew the truth about me but refused to tell his truth. He was a lot of fun but never paid for anything. Stayed with me for 2months and tolerant of my husband when he chase after me. Then he ignore me then go back to wanting to be with me all the time. I just want to be friends cuz it won't hurt as much loosing him. Still feel he used me as he's other girl. He was a smooth talker. Always talked about getting me pregnant then one day he was worried to. I found that interesting. Always kept me away from his family. Then started telling people I was his cousin and everyone knew otherwise like his friends... never liked it! How can I get him as just a friend? I've tried email... yes my husband and I are still together. Working on our marriage but I miss that guy.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Why would you miss a guy that blatantly used you for sex, let alone want a friendship him?

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    • Finally someone with an open mind! I've been struggling to get over this and it's been hard even when the facts are all true. Sometimes I think it be better to be friends so I wouldn't hurt as much but truth is I need to let it go.

    • Emotions can make us blind so I understand where you're coming from, but the more time you spend with this person, the more it'll result in hurting you emotionally. I would suggest you cut all ties with that person and move on. Fixing your marriage should be the only thing that matters right now, if you want to make it work.

    • Aww thank you! I have cut ties all the way around. I did send a farewell note to only make me feel better. I don't think you ever get closure. My emotions and suffering from deep depression didn't help when that guy approached me the day of my bad spell. My husband knows how it affects me and that's why he wants to help me work on this.

Most Helpful Girl

  • It's not complicated.
    You're a crappy wife, chasing a crappy man who doesn't want you.
    Get your priorities together. If you don't want to lose your marriage then close your social media, stop contacting this man and get into some therapy to sort yourself out and start building trust with your husband.
    If you want the other man let your poor husband go, get a divorce and do whatever you're going to do

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    • You really don't get it. I didn't chase this guy he chased me. So don't judge someone without more facts

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    • I'm not chasing anyone! Nor did I ask for this to happen! Maybe someday it will be your close friend who screws up and then you'll get it! Until then unless you have experience or try to understand I advise you step off.

    • You're asking how to get him to be your friend and that you've tried emailing him. There is no realm in which that isn't chasing someone.

      And my friend has done this kind of thing, and I said the exact same thing to her. She is accountable for her actions and how she hurts people just to get everything she wants is not ok. Just because she's my friend doesn't mean I won't be honest when someone behaves like a horrible human being, and luckily she had more sense and decided to pick one instead of dragging her partner through more heartache.

      Own your mistakes and your actions instead of playing a victim when it's your own choices that have created the problem.

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What Guys Said 3

  • Seriously? What is it with women who have been cheated, scammed, lied to, taken advantage of, and they STILL want to be with that one guy who did crap like this to them? I must have just read 3-4 Q's from girls in the same situation and they're wondering what to do? Like duhhhh!

    1. WHY on God's Earth, do want to STILL be friends with a proven liar like this jerk?

    2. What would be SOOOOO bad about "losing" him?

    3. Does your husband KNOW your trying to see him/email this dipwad?

    At this point, I agree with @Wonderer89. YOU have to take responsibility for YOUR actions. Either get a divorce and go running to this lying, cheating, POS, or forget him completely, and focus on your marriage ONLY.

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  • im guessing if you want to be friends with guy you'll have to do it in secrecy because I doubt your husband will accept that. you shouldn't even be thinking about talking to that guy again accept the fact that he played you and you were just pussy to him. if you continue to talk to him might as well get a divorce because you will be continuing to betray your husband's trust.

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    • and you keeping on saying he pursued you as if your the victim and that makes it ok. imagine your husband in the same position some chick sweet talked him so now he's pounding her every other day. but it's ok cus he wasn't the 1 to pursue own up to your mistakes and stop making excuses

  • Miss a liar with several fb accounts, girlfriends, wife and kids? Doesn't sound healthy to me. You're lucky your husband didn't request a divorce.

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    • Yeah that may be true, but you show me someone perfect!

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    • Same here pal, same here. I hate to admit but S/O are not remedy for everything in this life.

    • I agree and learned

What Girls Said 0

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