Should I stay over my ex's house?

my ex and I ended on pretty bad terms, he never treated me with respect. but when I blocked him from everything I still couldn't let go from him and we started texting and he came over yesterday and we f#£*ed. he wants me to stay over tonight but no one knows we're talking or even seeing eachother. my family and friends hate his guts and only my mum met him once. I feel really weird about it and I don't know what to do. I want to stay over but at the same time I don't. *I have a kid and live with my mum and he still lives with his family that are on vacation till tomorrow.* if I don't stay over I feel I'll regret it but if I do stay over I feel I'll regret it 🤣 HELP


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Your ex never treated you with respect and yet you have to ask if seeing him is a good idea? Do you have any reason to believe that he has changed? Has there even been enough time for him to really change? If he is still the exact same guy and you are letting him fuck you despite breaking up with him then do you think that he is likely to respect you any greater than before?

    You can't just pretend that shitty treatment didn't happen because it feels better to give in to your cravings, that's a sure fire way to keep yourself tied to an asshole. If he's still the exact same guy as the one you broke up with on bad terms then you might as well just be punching yourself in the face right now because that's how constructive it is to be hooking up with him.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Why on earth would you feel like your regret not staying over at somebody who doesn't respect you? He always treated you with disrespect, and now this is looking like it'll be a sex only thing. Why would you do this to yourself?
    Teach your child how important respecting yourself is, how healthy relationships work and how to cut off people that don't respect you by leading by example. Your kid will be old enough to pick up in all this one day. If you have a daughter, it's even more important, because you're supposed to teach her about womanhood and being a strong secure woman.
    Fr though, you're not respecting yourself so it's no wonder you'll be meeting these types of guys who don't respect you either. When a woman doesn't respect herself, those types of guys can tell and will target her. So when this one goes, it's likely the next one will be the same unless you start having more self respect and self love.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 21

  • I wish I could give a simple answer like go, or don't.
    You'll need to follow your heart. Listen to it very carefully. What happens if you get back into a relationship with him? Will he treat you with respect this time? Will he just treat you like shit and throw you in the bin after he is done?
    Don't worry about what your friends or family thinks. Same as his friends and family. You do it for you. Don't make a choice affected by anyone.

    Choose for you, not for him, or anyone else.

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  • Consider why you want to be there: Do you feel obliged to do so, like you owe him? Is it just for the sex, the carnal enjoyment of lust and flesh? Or do you have feelings for him?
    With that, try to weigh the options presented, and decide which will make you feel better. Keep in mind that he might not have the same motives you do. Maybe establish common ground, draw boundaries, etc.

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  • Every part of me is screaming get out while you can - In the whole question you didn't point out one good thing about him - He doesn't respect you and you have a kid to think about - When your child is older do you want them to end up with someone like him?

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  • Okay so the question is a lot simpler than I think you're making it?

    If you want to have sex with *him specifically*, then go do it I guess? As long as you're okay with the potential feelings / fallout from it

    If you don't, then find somebody else :)

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  • well he's not going to change you're giving him all the power, you're both grown you can find places to mess around the issue is you'll continue to say yes and won't be eventually able to say no. so the question becomes are you willing to take the abuse without the relationship in exchange for sex?

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  • Sure, if you don't mind being confused for several more months instead of getting over the relationship and moving on with your life.

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  • Seems like he just wants to f#£*ck... So if you are cool with just that go for it otherwise I would listen to your family... Guys like that don't change

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  • You need to get away from him, all of this to me sounds like really bad shit is going to happen and it will build up, and keep building up until the shit storm hits. This is not going to end well.

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  • it sounds like a bad idea and you're not sure yourself. You can find another guy to hook up with just as easily I bet. Ignore him if he's bad to you

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  • You should stay over and have one more night of sex before he leaves. You'll both get pleasure out of it so its a win-win

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  • If you go over, it's just so he use you and out his dick some where other than his hands. If he didn't respect you then, he certainly won't after that.

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  • Most certainly do not. If you're longing for a relationship with him with how things happened before it'll happen again. If you just want to f$+k find a different guy for that, this one has too many emotions involved and it won't go well either.

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  • just don't

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  • you need to let go and move, on. stay away from him

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  • If he doesn't love you let go

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  • No, you obviously shouldn't. I'm astonished that you even have to ask this.

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  • NO you shouldn't

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  • Don't stay, if he treated you badly before, he will again

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  • Experience is best teacher and remember a ex is ex for reason.
    He don't love you maybe for sex that you give him that's all.
    Don't you want man who will love you and your child?

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  • don't stay over

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  • No. Just don't.

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What Girls Said 3

  • I don't see how that can be a good idea. You broke up for a reason, so why continue to stay in this cycle with him? It's very unlikely that anything has changed so if you felt he disrespected you before, what makes you think he would treat you differently now? You likely still have feelings for him since your breakup but you haven't given yourself any time to move on. Think about if this person is good for you or not and if you think he's not good for you, then there's your answer.

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  • You shouldn't, if he can't respect you he does not deserve you or your attention

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  • depends on what you're looking for in him. if it's a relationship i can promise you that doing what you're doing now won't get him to go back to you. If you simply want to be fck friends then go for it.
    If you are looking to get him back though I would highly recommend you to watch Matthew Hussey videos and read his articles. So far it has helped me and all my friends with situations like this. Maybe it won't get him to go back but it's a great guide for any relationship.
    Try it out :)

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