Please help!!! Is he living a double life?

My boyfriend is about 10 years older than me and seemed to be very mature. He says he is divorced and showed me divorce papers but he lied about the state his ex wife lives in. He told me he was going home to visit family but I think he went to see her.
He works 2 full time jobs which I don't understand why because his place isn't anything extravagant and his vehicle is paid off. He keeps telling me he has a lot of debt but is very secretive with his money. He loves to shop and buys himself all kind of stuff all the time.
In the beginning he made an effort and now he works so much we rarely see each other. He tells me he wants to marry me and talks about a future and kids but doesn't want to live together.
The only time we see each other is at bedtime when he gets off work bc he works almost every day. I don't know where all this money is going.
He told me 6 months ago he was only going to work 1 job and the time has rolled around and he is still working 2 jobs.
He spent 4 days with me and I didn't see him for 3 so I asked him if he was coming over and his response was I spent 4 days with you.
We constantly break up because I feel as if he's got secrets and is lying about money and what he does with his time.
Weve been seeing each other for 8 months now and he doesn't seem to want to move forward with the relationship. I'm guessing he's a player.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • If you feel like you can't trust him and he doesn't feel the need to ease that feeling so you understand what's going on, I would move on. I can't tell you what he's up to if even you just have guesses

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    • Yeah your definitely correct. Just hard to understand why someone would be so persistent. Very strange.

Most Helpful Girl

  • yes... he is using you...
    he was married... later divorced so he must be giving money to his wife kids etc (he must be a dad)
    only see you at bedtime... I assume for sex...
    the guy is not consist on what he tell me like one job thn he started working for two jobs...

    best thing to do; google him, stalk him on fb etc any social site.
    ask him about his two jobs? in order to get an idea about how much salary he makes...

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    • I used to work with him he makes about 150000 a year both jobs combined. Thanks so much for the responses! I definitely know he is hiding stuff.

    • That's a lot...
      yeah he is using you.. time to teach him a lesson or move on.
      best of luck

    • Thanks I agree!

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • Please... a guy who is 10 years older than you isn't a real relationship, literally just using you for sex. Find someone closer to you in age and hasn't been married before.

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What Girls Said 2

  • There's too many red flags to assume any different. He's too secretive and lies , so I personally wouldn't trust him.

    It's pointless staying with him if the relationship isn't making any progress, and you obviously don't trust him , and rightly so. There's no solid foundation for the relationship to progress , which is obviously all his doing

    Trust your gut, it seems to be roaring very loud :)

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    • Thanks... that's exactly what I was thinking... just need to hear it from someone else.

  • Yeah he is

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