My first boyfriend completely blindside broke up with me in a park over stresses we both had agreed we could workout. How does someone change so fast?

Also here's the thing the guy who became my first boyfriend completely blindside broke up with me last week. We had been dating for 6 months, two of which were official bf/gf. He has a demanding full time job, applying to business school/ taking the gmat, which has caused a lot of stress for him since he wants to go to a good school.

Two weeks before break up we had a large talk about how to make our relationship work during this stressful period. He reassured me this relationship was a priority like work and school and we made a schedule- two nights a week we go out or hang out. Flash forward two weeks later I think I'm meeting him in the park for a study break and he breaks up saying he needs to sacrifice something and is overwhelmed and can't be who I need or provide what's fair to me. I was completely shocked. The night before we chatted on the phone like regular and he even made extra plans with me beyond our two scheduled nights.

I am completely heartbroken. We haven't talked, just him watching my snap stories and me the same. His test is next week so I doubt I'll hear from him until then or maybe never.

What gives? How does someone say they are all in and then freak out and blindside you? Is it just over? Do I reach out? I'm so sad and confused.
Side note: there were zero signs he wanted to break up. No drop in calls or texts, no lose of affection, chemistry or physical intimacy. Completely caught off guard.


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What Guys Said 1

  • Hey let me tell you what's actually going on..
    This dude is making excuses because he doesn't want to hurt you. What's actually is going on is that he's not into you, maybe he doesn't find you attractive, maybe he doesn't feel anything. The point he doesn't really want to be with you, he just doesn't want to hurt you. He would have never broken up with you if he felt something for you.

    • That is super sad. Why even get in a relationship then? Three days before he took me on a surprise date to go car racing and dinner. And then three days later pulls the rug from under. Would someone be that careless?

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    • That's a normal reaction for you right now. You're angry and sad at the same time because of him. I don't really blame you.
      But from what you've told he doesn't sound like an asshole to me at all.
      As for meeting friends it doesn't really mean anything it just happens.
      You have to know this guy knows what he wants so he doesn't really see the point in communicating because he knows it can't be solved just by talking. He just has no drive to be with you.
      If i was in his shoes i'd have handled things the same way.

    • Well clearly it was calculated and when we had a heart to heart two weeks prior to the break up it was wrong to say he was in this for the long run and that this was a priority that we can work on together. Wrong.

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