We had a wedding three months ago and it caused me much more trouble than happiness. Wedding was arranged one year ago and my husband insisted on a date, even I was begging him for a later date because of my exams at university. He told me later he would not marry me, so finally I had no choice. Later he said ok, but there were no free dates anymore.
Our wedding was between my exams and it was so stressfull to me that I had to visit psychiatrist because I could not sleep and had nightmares. I did not enjoy my wedding because I was completely exhausted and tried not to have a nervous break down. I had to change the date of the most important exam to September.
He knew that before I had some issues as I suffered from anxiety and depression, and it took me 7 years to get better again. And this is what hurts me so much. He was always telling me that I have to be strong enough to go through this, even when I was crying that this is too much for me.
Three months after wedding, I am depressed, nervous and I cannot forgive my husband that not even he destroyed a day that should be the nicest day in my life, but that I am about to take psychiatric medicaments again because of all the stress I am going through even now. I am very nervous when he is around as I cannot forgive him.
I am seriously thinking abou leaving my husband. I was always a responsible one, always rational, but I cannot get over the fact that he had no reason to insist on the date of our wedding, which caused me so much trouble.
What should I do? Should I leave him or forgive? How to forgive?
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Neither of you seems ready for marriage. It seems you were put under tremendous pressure right at the worst time. He did not care about your feelings and virtually blackmailed you into marriage.
"He told me later he would not marry me..." This really IS blackmail! He did spoil what should have been such a memorable and happy day. That, to me, is really unforgivable!
Only you can decide whether to stay with him and try and work through it. Only you can decide whether to leave him.
Either way, it will be a difficult choice. Personally, I would not be with a guy that put me under such pressure. Which is why my guy and I have decided to just live together. We are both too busy at uni.0