How do I stop having feelings for this guy?

We don't even see each other anymore, I've deactivated my facebook and keep myself distracted, I started working out and taking up new hobbies, I'm almost always distracted... but sometimes he just suddenly pops up in my thoughts again and I feel like I'm going back to square one.
I'm not devastated anymore, I'm quite happy with my life, but why do I still miss him? It's been over six months and I really want it to go away ;-;


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Unfortunately it is going to be impossible to stop having feelings for someone all together. However because of him and your relationship and what you miss of it, you are more likely to put up a wall in those situations. Since that wall is now firmly placed there will be guys that stick out. You will notice them beyond your feelings toward your ex and those are the ones that you should hold some conversations with. Dont lust yourself to guys just because you're trying to get rid of your old one. Like anything in life its a process.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • This is the hardest feeling yet, I know exactly how you are feeling. And believe me, it is the worst feeling even when you do feel like you're beginning to get on with your life. Feelings don't always go away as quickly as you want them to and whether you've been broken up for 6 days, weeks or months, they will always come flooding back. Sometimes you might see something that reminds you of this guy and then you'll have a memory pop back into your head. It is good that you are keeping yourself busy and by the sounds of it, you are doing things you enjoy and doing things for yourself. Sadly, you can't just switch your feelings off, I wish we could but we can't, what you're doing is great though, you're getting your life back and doing things you love. You'll meet someone one day that will make you forget all about this guy and that will be the best feeling ever.
    Good Luck & Keep Smiling

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    • It really is. I think a certain part of me doesn't want to forget him as I still love him deeply and he has impacted my life so much. I want him back but I can't trust him anymore and I know he wouldn't want me for more then sex anyway. I guess I'll have to keep going and just distract myself whenever I think of him... and maybe I'll meet the right guy soon enough...

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 18

  • I still miss my high school sweetheart.
    Other thoughts and feelings will eventually replace it. Just keep doing what you're doing.
    You are hanging on to the idea of him, the concept in your brain, it's not really about HIM as it is about your FEELINGS.

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  • I'm in the same position as you only with a girl. And I don't think much of her now but I know it would only take one word from her to bring me back.

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  • Give it time and eventually you'll find yourself thinking about him less and less and another guy will come around.

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  • You should delete pictures of him, delete his contace details and unfriend him everywhere. If it's too hard to delete pics, store them on a hard drive. If you have stuff of him that reminds you yoo much, take picture of them and give the stuff away.

    Then you should do your own thing and meet other people.

    Love will come on your path when you least expect it.

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    • I even blocked him everywhere because he messaged me once out of the blue to compliment a photo that was posted of me. I do want him back still in a way, but I don't trust him anymore and he doesn't want me... I'm going out a lot, hitting the gym and all that.

  • Give it time, great idea with keeping busy. Ins not a bad thing to not forget. He was part of your life so it's natural.

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  • Stop having feelings.

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  • date someone else

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  • Which country do you live in?

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  • This sort of thing doesn't disappear as easily, and so quickly! You have to let time pass by. The day you meet another man, you will forget him! Meanwhile, you have to live with these thoughts, which can reappear at any time!..

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    • I guess :/ it's so annoying, whenever I feel like my life is completly back on track they reappear. I even completly quit certain social media sides/blocked him to keep myself from checking up on him or him checking up on me. I guess I'll just have to keep going

    • Keep going! It's difficult but not insurmountable.. :/

  • Maybe its time to look for someone new. Find someone who puts a spark in your heart and make them the person you always think about.

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  • i still miss the girl that used me in grade 8 (age 14) and left me so you can. try but i don't know if you be succesful

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  • rebound new guy

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    • Noo I'm not doing that.. it would be mean for the new guy. I should get myself out there/had a couple dates since then, but it didn't work out.

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    • I guess that's true...

    • head up :-) and go for it

  • find somebody else that is worthy of the time..

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  • Talk to him about it, tbh thats the only way to get over it.

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    • He doesn't really want to talk to me I think :') It was a messy breakup and I think he hates me now. I do love him deeply still and I wish he'd come to realize my value, but he won't... so I have to give him up.

  • You need to work through it, the good the bad and the ugly to understand and then let go

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    • I did evaluate the relationship a lot... I guess eventually one day these feelings will disappear by themselves..

    • Yes they will and don't worry such things don't have a long shelf life usually

  • Find another boyfriend.

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  • Go out and meet guys, even if you just want to be friends. He's perfect your mind, so meet other good guys and you'll realize he isn't perfect. I'm going through this same problem with a girl.

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    • I know he isn't perfect, nobody is, really. But I was willing to accept his flaws. I guess going out is really the only way for me to move on, I will probably meet someone else at some point whom I like just as much.. I just wish the way there would be less painful :')

    • Don't worry, you'll meet someone else and the pain will go away.

  • Maybe he'll still have sex with you. Give him a call

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What Girls Said 3

  • it takes time, sometimes a lot of time. keep your mind busy, pick up a new hobby or skill, make new friends, or even travel. just stay busy. when you feel yourself start reminiscing on him and the past, try to think of something else. watch Netflix or rent movies. as long as you don't keep dwelling on it for too long, you'll be fine. it just takes time and it's different for everyone. I hope you move on soon love, best wishes!

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    • I'm trying my best. Whenever I start thinking of him I go for a run or try to distract myself with something else. But whenever I seem to be over it there's this little 'what if' in my mind

    • I understand and sometimes you just have to realize it wasn't meant to be.

  • you will stop thinking of him when the time is right. don't try to talk to him or get back with him. of the things ended something happened. I managed to get over my ex after 2 years. you will move on. for now make space in your life. space for another special person to come. which means remove any signs of your ex. get hobbies. go out. meet people laugh and allow your self to be vulnerable sometimes and to love again

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  • me too, and even worse its been a year for me. i've tried that rebound guy way, and it just didn't work because my feelings still stuck with him. tried to distract myself a whole lot too, but doesn't really help. may be the problem is that i have the same friendship circle, so i blame it on the unfortunate condition.

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    • That's a difficult situation as you can't get away from him anyhow... no matter what you do. I hope it'll get better for you too soon, if you need anyone to talk to about it let me know <3

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