Why doesn't he care after a break up?

I had a relationship with a guy, unfortunately we weren't together long only a couple of months. But we caught feelings quick and it was fast paced but we loved it. He introduced me to his friends and all of his family knew and asked about me a lot, we planned holidays together, we planned a lot in fact. He bragged about me to his friends at any moment he got, his barber knew who I was and would ask about me. He would take me on dates that would always turn into fun hilarious times where we just loved each other's company no matter what we did.

We honestly had no problems, we were completely happy around each other. Or so I thought until he broke up with me a few days after a date in a paragraph over text. Saying he isn't ready and he thought he was but he's so sorry. I didn't understand at all, we were really happy, he had previously told me he's depressed but I don't even know if that's a lie now. It's only been two days and he doesn't seem bothered at all, he bluntly responds to some of my texts and he owes me money because I gave it to him when he didn't have enough, he ignores me about paying me back but is bragging online about how he just got paid a lot for something and is booking a holiday.

I just dont understand how somebody can show you off to the world, take you places, tell his friends and family about you and even introduce you to them, seem to care so much about me, and then act like this? He won't even give me a good reason for it ending when we were both happy


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  • The understanding of men will forever baffle me and the way they treat girls. One minute your the best thing in there life and the next minute they're not sure what they want. I am so sorry you are going through this tough time, it must be so hard for you. Breakups never get any easier. It doesn't matter how long you were together, what matters is the memories you share with each other and how you felt about each other. It sounds like it was all going so well and then suddenly his mind was changed by something. If he says he has 'depression', it genuinely could be this, although he shouldn't say these things if they are not true because depression isn't something to kid about or 'play down'. Men act in weird ways when they feel like things are going too fast or getting too serious too soon. Maybe he felt like his feelings for you were becoming stronger and that was starting to scare him a little. And if he is someone who can't contain his money, he probably felt like he couldn't provide for himself and you at the same time. It sounds like he can't handle a relationship right now and everything that comes with it. You may think he doesn't care but trust me he does, men can't just turn off their feelings like that, as much as they think they can, they can not. He also can't give you a reason as to why it ended because he doesn't have a valid one. He sounds like he doesn't even know himself, like his head is all over the place. He wants you but he isn't sure about a committed relationship yet. Women can settle down so much easier than men can. I honestly think that if you give him some time and some space, he will come back, then maybe you two can have a talk. He will soon see what he is missing out on. Look after yourself in the mean time and focus on you!
    Good Luck & Keep Smiling!

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    • This helped so much, thank you!

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    • Thank you, I'm hoping if I give him space he will miss me, we never argued or were unhappy around each other so I'm hoping it works

    • Sometimes all guys need is space and time, to realise what they had and to miss you. I read so many success stories about couples with the 'NC' rule and am amazed at how much it works. I may not know either of you but I have every faith this will work out for you!

  • This sounds a lot like my situation now... He was the one who initiated it all. Spending every minute with me telling me he loves me and wants to marry me one day. Then he started distancing himself... Called me the other day and told me he can't take care of me and he's not ready for a relationship. Didn't even have the decency to meet me in person.

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    • I showed up at his house, gave him his stuff and tried talking. He was downright rude to me, I walked away without saying a word to him... He immediately texted me saying he was sorry for acting that way... Tried calling me that night a couple times and texted me once more. Ignored it all and I'm now on day 2 of no contact with him and I haven't heard back from him.

    • That's horrible! exactly the same for me but he didn't even distance himself, he was the same the whole time it's so weird. Maybe we just go for crazy guys

    • Mine is a recovering addict who also suffers from depression. I don't know if that was a contributing factor... I'm hoping that the no contact helps him to realise what he lost :(. We had a good relationship.

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