Wife Left Me For Her Boss. I still love her so much, what can I do?

Okay, so my marriage wasn't doing great, but I didn't think it was that bad. I have PTSD and my depression just made everything bad for her. She had told me the separation would help our marriage. Well, months later I found out she was with her boss... from the job she took one month after leaving me. Everyone saw the signs and so did I, she was cheating on me. I found out her messaging password and her email as well. Everything was there and it sucks. I hated it so much and I was helpless as she kept lying to me about it.



The guy she left me for was arrested for sexually assaulting his sister in law. I found out he just got over his second divorce and met her. He used to be addicted to drugs and recently he got drunk and sent my parents threats, even bringing up my children during it. My dad left a one star on his business on Facebook with no words on it, deleted it a couple of hours later. He is her boss and he is ten years older than her. To top it all off she makes excuses for all of these issues and says he deserves a second chance, but tells me how much she hates me. We were together for twelve years and have three beautiful boys. I didn’t care that she cheated. I loved her and wanted her back. I was so sorry for the things I said during our depression. Yeah, I didn’t hit her, cheat or do anything that was completely bad, but I can’t blame her for not wanting to be around me at the time. Her mom, friends, pretty much everyone says that she is lost and this won't last. I agree with that.

Honestly, if she does come back to me I'm going to tell her the truth of what needs to be done. We are both messed up in the head and need help. I love her so damn much and I don't believe in the whole once a cheater always a cheater. If things like that were true I wouldn't have gotten myself out of my hole like so many people believed.

I'm just looking for advice on this situation, any thoughts?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • She's already made her decision, even if it may not be the best one. There really isn't much you can do or say about that. Instead you should focus on bettering yourself. What you do if she comes crawling back is up to the two of you.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • There is nothing you can do about it. You still love her, and it's clouding your vision. She's gone. You need to face reality and accept it.

    To be honest, from what you are saying it's questionable if you two should even be together. It sounds like an unhealthy relationship where you are both dragging each other down. I'm speculating, but that's what it sounds like.

    Work on getting your own life together without her. Do it for yourself and for your kids. Those kids don't need to be raised in a house full of drama.

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    • We actually were doing great until I got PTSD from the military. Things went down after that. Our lives were great together.

    • You can't live in the past though. The reasons don't make her any less gone. Sorry man, but I really think she's gone. The only thing you can do is work on yourself. That's not going to happen over night. Maybe some time in the future things will be different. But for now you have to live in the present. You have to admit reality, take a deep breath, and start putting one foot in front of the other.

      You want something to do to get her back. I don't have an answer for that. I don't want to give you false hopes either and say she might come back on her own. Even if it's true, you don't want to be clinging to false hopes like that. You need to move forward.

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What Girls Said 2

  • do you love yourself? respect yourself? if you don't, do it. then everything else will make sense. all the best

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  • Put her behind you. YOIre better than her

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What Guys Said 1

  • from my personal opinion u know what it right thing to do.. u r just trying to ignore truth/right thing.. going to practical is important.. ur children future is on it decision.. don't depressed.. life is all above ups and down.. good will come just do right things

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