I texted my ex about us being friends, he said he'd think about it. A few days later I followed him on instagram (too early, I know) and he blocked me the next day , I asked him if that meant no and he told me he doesn't know what to tell me, that we can be friends but I'd never see him and I don't need that kind of friend. I said why and he said there's no point in him seeing me again. I asked why again and he said"just cuz". I told him I'm sorry if I made him uncomfortable with the instagram thing and that the way I see it we could be good friends and he laughed. I told him I'm not trying to push I'm just trying to save the friendship and he said lol ok thanks and i just said I'll respect his feelings but if he changes his mind to please let me know. He said he doesn't understand me but that he will and goodnight. I left him a voicemail too saying I miss him and that I hope he calls. Yikes lol. I've been trying to move on lately, at the end of the day I'm still sad and I miss him. What do I do? I'm the one who hurt him by the way, I told him during the relationship that I don't have strong feelings for him, but we stayed together. We weren't talking for a few days. He checked in one me to see how I'm doing, that he'd talk to me later. then a week went by and we haven't spoke so I got impatient and asked if he wanted to break up and he said "wow so u wanna end it but u want me to say I'm out ok fine!" I messed up , again. I texted him a few days later that it was a misunderstanding, asked if we could talk on the phone he said "who's this", I told him and he said he doesn't know anyone by that name. I called later and left a voicemail apologizing for what my stupid behavior and that I miss him. texted me not to be sorry and that it's not me it's his life (lots going on I won't mention here). And then now it led me up to here, him seeing no point of ever seeing me. I've obviously caused a lot of drama. I miss him terribly. Is there any way I could fix this?
P. s. During the recent voicemail I left, I told him after I miss him that I don't know if he cares, I feel like he hates me that kind of thing. I wanted to him to tell me he doesn't. He never did. It does kind of feel like he's done with me. i don't think he hates me, or I hope not. I just feel like I'm disposable or like he just wants to move on from me forever. And that hurts me a lot lol. maybe it's just temporary I don't know. Either way it hurts and I want him to talk to me.