An old flame reignited, but seems the embers are going out. Help?

Back in April I reencountered an old flame from 15 years ago. We flirted and hit it off again and soon were meeting up for dinner again.
15 years ago we were fairly serious but it ended badly when he broke it off for another girl. But when we got back together this time, he seemed to have done quite a bit of self evaluation and apologized quite perfusely for how he treated me. He said he had thought about me numerous times through the years and even looked up my address and drove past my house numerous times when he thought of me. Knowing him, I found this endearing.
The first month or so was fairly good, we got together when we could (frequently) and would talk for hours. However, as time has went on it slowed, we have recently only seen each other once every couple weeks and our conversations in between have waned to very little. When we do get together there is still hours of conversation and the spark is still there, but he makes many excuses why we can't see each other more often. Today the excuse was that he had to mow his lawn. He has a busy schedule with work and finishing his doctorate, as do I (with work and school); but I personally feel you make time for what's important. He tells me how much he likes me, enjoys time with me and could see us being long term, but his actions say otherwise. On top of this, we never actually go on dates anywhere (just watching tv and talking) and he hasn't told his friends or family he's dating anyone. After today, I'm pretty fed up with the requests for "rain checks" and being blown off. I've told him so, with no response. I'm pretty sure we're done, what I don't understand is why put in all the effort to rekindle something with a person he's pined for just to not follow through by making an effort. I can tell you he is not seeing anyone else, I know this for certain (I know this will be a thought). If someone has any insight I would like to hear it?


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  • OMG! I swear I just read my life from the past 8 months.. exact and I mean exactly the same shit. Ex came back after 15ish years.. begged for another chance.. aplogized over and over.. claimed he was a changed man from the punk kid he was. always said I was the love of his life... when we are together there is so much magic and it feels so right... however he pulled the same shit.. all of sudden he stopped calling as much.. started going weeks without seeing him.. and using the smallest reason to not come see me and I would be hurt &confused as shit because I assumed someone who waited so long for a second chance sure is not fighting to make it work.. we went on 1 date and the others were us chilling at home talking.. i did meet his friends tho and he always said this women here I have put through so much hell and i am just glad she is still here.. I kept asking if we still wanted this and he said he did.. planning a future together... and needless to say I found out he was talking to numerous women and in fact was living with one.. so yea, men suck! Don't put up with that shit.. you deserve more..

  • afraid of commitment or career-driven.


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