Should I break up with her or just slow down?

Here's the situation:

I met a girl on a dating website. We were/are pretty compatible, we've gone on a few dates and have had some good times.

I was a virgin until about a week ago when I finally slept with her. I couldn't orgasm at all, but I figured it was just my nerves. Had sex again recently and the same result.

She's invited me to a concert in a few weeks and another one about a month and a half down the road.

My problem is, I still don't want to commit to her as "my girl." For some reason, I want to play the field still even though she's done nothing for me to break up or drift from her. She's a great girl, but I'm just not feeling any strong emotions for her.

I feel like I'm an asshole for feeling this way and since I've never been in this position, what do you think about it? I am an R.A. at my college and live farther away. I don't plan on coming home regularly and having a girlfriend would also be more time consuming in a world where I already have little free time. What do YOU think I should do?

And GO.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • As long as you guys haven't had the exclusivity talk then you're free to do whatever you please. She may be assuming it's a lot deeper in her eyes and it probably wasn't best that you lead her on a little. But bottom line, until you talk about it then you're both free to explore. Just continue to be honest even when it's hard and you won't be a "jerk." It's the guys that lie and then sneak around that are the real losers. She might get mad or she might not, but maintain honesty and you're not doing anything wrong.

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    • That's what I've been told and that's how I feel. I don't have any commitment to her exclusively but I think she may be thinking more into it than I am really. I think I am just not that infatuated with her, but I like her. She's a better friend than someone I'd want as a girlfriend, I think.

    • Well don't blame yourself for that. It's part of dating that some people get more interested than others. It's hurtful so it's best to be fair to her feelings, but be fair to yourself too. If you're not all that into her then you don't have to date her.

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 2

  • well I think you shouldn't just forget about her. I think you should still be friends with her. And I believe you don't have feelings for her because you just met her and you might be thinking about other girls you wanna get wit. And like you said you live far away and of course your girl would want to see you. So a relationship is outta the question. And it would be very unfair to her. So I think you should tell her you like her but your not really to commit to a relationship right now. Hopefully she'll understand and yall can still be friends. And there you go a happy ending.

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    • I don't plan on cutting her out entirely, I just think she may be more of a friend than a girlfriend for me. Since I do care about her and what she feels, that's why I don't want to be a jerk in this situation and am trying to approach it the right way. Thank you for answering me.

    • Oh OK your welcome. I hope everything works out 4 u.

  • wow man, you just did a real jerkish move! you should have controlled your hormones better because she probably caught feeling for you now.You need to be a man and be up front with her and tell her your feeling.

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What Guys Said 1

  • Hahahahaha, welcome to adulthood brother!

    Yea, no matter how you play this you're going to be a jerk in her eyes.

    That's how it goes, just ride the storm and learn from the experience.

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    • Thanks buddy. By the way, love the ice hockey photo. Nothing special about it per-say, but I was playing some ice hockey today and wanted to say that.

    • Thanks! It's my picture from being named one of USBank's College Athletes of the Year this past season.

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