I made my first love hate me?

I fucked up so hard on my first love/crush. She thinks I'm a crazy weirdo... I went crazy and did a lot of stupid shit. But she already left for the states (i'm in canada) Also we blocked each other? My heart feels like I'm in hell and every girl I look at I only see her? Have I gone mad? I feel even worse than shit... every day every minute every second I think of her...
I made my first love hate me?
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