Need help with this relationship question PLEASE?

So here's the deal. My ex and I were very much in love. Everything was wonderful and we were there for each other during some very tough times. We were extremely compatible, liked the same things, had the same sense of humor, etc. Seemed like soulmates. 5 months of pure happiness for me. He worked frequently, but we still made it work. One day, he says he's getting a promotion at work. He says it'll be tough for us, cause he'll be training and away a lot, but we'll still work. And because I really, really love him, I was gonna fight through it as well. Because relationships don't just happen, they sometimes require work and sacrifice. I was willing to do anything. Of course it was upsetting that we couldn't see each other as often, but the training period was only temporary, and he was still my boyfriend. Suddenly, after the training, his texts became less frequent and it got to the point where I wouldn't hear from him in days. This upset me, but I understood the job was tiring. I grew worrisome cause he wasn't as lovey anymore. On my birthday he gives me this book that has all these ways that he loves me and he apologizes for working so much. However, a week later, he breaks things off between us. My heart is shattered into a million pieces. There are no words to explain the pain you feel when the person you love with all your heart, stops loving you out of the blue. The job was so demanding and so tiring, it made him forget about our relationship, and what we had, and what we'd done. It's now months later, and I'm still in love. I can't just get over someone I love and it's chewing me apart every day. He went from telling me "im gonna marry you some day" to emotionless. We're still "friends" (even though we haven't talked since the breakup day, and I fight the urge daily to message him, or reconnect with him. It just eats me alive. I have no interest in any other men, and I'd give ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING to have him back in my life. What do you think I should do? 😕


Most Helpful Guy

  • Okay so let me tell you whats actually going on.
    He isn't interested in you anymore, he just lost feelings. The work is just an excuse. He probably has his eyes on someone else.
    It could have been worse he could've cheated.
    Right at this moment you're so in love with him that other men seem insignificant
    but i can assure one day another man will just come into walk into your life and make you feel all these things again that you felt with your.
    Or maybe you actually really lost the best man you could've ever had.


Most Helpful Girl

  • 1. There's no way anyone can know what's on somebody's mind unless you ask them. I suggest the first thing you should consider is asking him the exact reason for the break up.
    2. Maybe he wanted to focus more on his career.
    3. It may not have been so sudden. People in general can be deceiving and he may have not felt the same for you the entire time or for some period of time. I know plenty of people who pretended. If they are good at it you cannot know, especially if you love them.."rose colored glasses as they say".
    I really don't want to be a pessimist here, but if you can't check with him the reason you should consider all possibilities not just the ones that may make you think it was your fault.
    Everyone may say this, but moving on really is the best thing to do. If you can get closure, even better.

    • No clue if I can get closure cause I tried to during the break up and he was all "it's me" which I know is just bullshit lmao. Im a pessimist so of course my first thought is to think of everything I might've done wrong. Ugh! And in a comment above, I mentioned he suppresses his depression instead of confronting it. He had a lot of stuff happen at once + the promotion at the same time and he just went "numb."

    • If he has depression then it would be worth taking it into consideration. Your whole judgement may be affected by it especially if it is a worse that usual "episode". Some people commented that if he loved you the job wouldn't have been a problem, but it is much different with a mental illness.
      Although, even if you knew it was because of it, you cannot resolve anything without talking to him.. it would be the best for your inner peace in my humbld opinion

    • Exactly. I'd love to build up the courage to talk to him. Things didn't end explosively like other relationships would where each person blocks each other, etc. Even though I have lots of questions still, it ended pretty civil. Still friends on FB, Snapchat, Instagram, not blocked, etc. He said if I'm out drinking and need someone to drive me home to give him a call.

Recommended Questions

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 0

The only opinion from guys was selected the Most Helpful Opinion, but you can still contribute by sharing an opinion!

What Girls Said 3

  • give him some time. set a time limit for your self if he doesn't come back by blah blah blah maybe you should move on. if its been a while since the break up you could send a text just feel him out ask how he's doing and keep it very brief. it at least opens the door for communication if he is still interested.

  • Unfortunately you have to let go, you said he moved for this new job?

    • No he didn't move. He became so up and involved in the training he forgot about our relationship.

    • Show All
    • Were a couple days shy of our 6 month. I was his longest relationship, (which looking back on that aspect, may seem like he's got issues on his end if I'm his shortest. 6 months isn't exactly long.)

    • That isn't too long. Ask yourself, if this guy can't handle a new job how is he going to handle anything in life? Not to mention there's obviously a breakdown in communication

  • it might be hard. But if he is emotionally done with the relationship there is nothing you can do but let him go.

    • The part that just baffles me is how the job just tore apart our relationship. The loss of interest wasn't gradual, it just happened right when work was extremely difficult and time consuming. It's like he literally forgot.

    • In all honestly, its not about the job. space is a relationship maker or breaker. If you really love someone and are committed then space strengthens tue relationship because you see how much your really want and need them in your life. Or they begin to fade from your life and you realize that maybe there are other things in life that are important to you.

Recommended myTakes