This is getting kinda heart breaking and annoying now help?

Anonymous

Break Up & Divorce

Ok so I was at College yesterday and I felt like something was missing. I saw a guy and he looked similar to my ex so much I pictured it was him. I imagined the guy in his clothes and it brought back all our memories. I just had to exuse myself to the toilet because I needed to cry. I've never felt this way about anyone before. How do I stop this? He's interfering with my mind, my life and I don't know what to do. I don't even look for relationships with guys because I want to wait for him and I know that's stupid because he doesn't love me. I just don't understand my brain.
I feel so damn weak when I think of him because he probably doesn't give a shit about me.

22

This is getting kinda heart breaking and annoying now help?

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Most Helpful Guy

Kkaos

These are completely normal feelings to have after a breakup from someone who you really cared about. Time really is the only thing that can help.

You're at this stage now where any little thing will remind you of him and keep bringing back that hollow feeling inside you. You will get to a time where he's just a distant memory and the thought of him doesn't even phase you, trust me.

Until then, all I can suggest is focus on other things and embrace life. Focus on yourself, you're awesome. Go outside, exercise, go for a walk, watch your favorite movies, listen to your favorite music. Just try to overcome the sadness and be present in the current moment and not the past.

I remember when I was getting over my worst breakup when I was 18, I look back on it now with really fond memories because I learnt a lot about myself through that experience.

I watched 500 Days of Summer after that breakup, wasn't a bad movie.

Hope you feel better soon!
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- Asker
  
  thank you. I'm sorry about your breakup I'm glad you can look back on it with fond memories.
  
  The only thing that worries me is. It's been a year now and I thought I'd would be over it now. I mean I look at other guys but I've realised I'm just looking for his facial features. They probably don't even act like him. I'd feel like I'm dating a shell of him with a different soul. Which is heart breaking to me, which is why I don't want a relationship. I also want to be fully invested in a guy.
  
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- Kkaos
  
  I felt the exact same way, I got to a point where it had been a year and felt surely that can't be normal to still have feelings after all that time. I had dates replaying in my head, those were the worst times. Anniversaries, I'd be fine until I realized those were coming up and there I was all that time later feeling completely lost and empty.
  
  Honestly I still have a shirt hanging up in my room, I hung that shirt up the night of our first date. I've never worn it since and it's just been hanging there ever since. I used to stare at it sometimes, realizing that the guy who put it on back then was 10x as happy as I've felt in ages and wishing I could go back to that time. I could take it down, but it's become a part of my life there, a weird symbol of the past for me I guess...
  
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- Kkaos
  
  But.. I've dated many girls since. I did take some time, to begin with I just felt guilty. But later on I met some great people and you will too. You may always think about this guy from time to time, it seems he made a big impact on your life as this girl did with me, however in the future when you think of him, it won’t bring sadness like it does now. It will just remind you of a previous time in your life and you’ll feel like a completely different person who is capable of dating completely different people.
  
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- Asker
  
  I'm so sorry you feel that way. I can relate to your sadness. I actually still have a note he gave me and I left it on my desk. It's kind of a reminder of the past to me too. I've been so close to ripping it up and throwing it away, then i remember him and just leave it there.
  
  I hope I do meet great people. I can understand the guilt. He did make a big impact and ironically he took a piece of my heart with him.
  
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- Kkaos
  
  It's all fine, I'm fine now. We all just hit low points sometimes. Yeah it's good that you didn't rip that note up, all these experiences make you who you are and you're a stronger person now. I wish you all the best for the future.
  
  Reply

Most Helpful Girl

XRabbitHeartX

Breakups take time and lots of it. Only with lots of time will the memories fade. You need to be patient on the road to heartbreak recovery. Yes you will at times make progress and then fall again. But then you pick yourself up and with time, the pain will again start to fade.
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What Guys Said 1

drG_NePhyAplMa

why did you break up? thinking you see an ex you had strong feelings for is normal.
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- Asker
  
  it was kind of a mutual breakup. It was peaceful I guess. I just feel like it was my fault we broke away. I think that's why I'm always thinking of him.
  
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- drG_NePhyAplMa
  
  but why mutual there had to be a reason.
  
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- Asker
  
  Moving away from each other I guess. Made it kinda hard to have an in person relationship.
  
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- drG_NePhyAplMa
  
  then why did you even start?
  
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- Asker
  
  Mutual love and interest, we didn't expect things to move so quickly. We didn't want to let fate's chance meeting of us to ruin a chance. That's kinda corny and sweet looking back on it.
  
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- drG_NePhyAplMa
  
  Don't let some stupid shit like distance keep you apart. Im sorry if you find this offensive but girls break up over the stupidest shit. If you like someone or love someone your going to figure shit out. Who the fuck cares about the little things. if you always give up when things get a bit rough you will always think what if.
  
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- Asker
  
  I understand what you mean.
  I wanted it to work though 😔
  He kinda said no to the idea.
  
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- drG_NePhyAplMa
  
  tell'em to fuck off he doesn't have an option.
  
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- Asker
  
  lol. I don't know I guess he just didn't like the idea. I just had to agree because i didn't want to lose him.
  
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- drG_NePhyAplMa
  
  I'm serious just badger the fuck out of him. like force him to either date you or never talk to you again. you won't be stuck in libo. yeah you won't want to be told to wank off but if he tells you that you get permanent closure. sometimes its better for the damn to break rather than a crack to form ya know?
  
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- Asker
  
  I kinda get what you mean. Guys have a tendency to go light on the truth concerning girls.
  
  Reply

What Girls Said 1

Pinay_ako

awww poor sweetie. I felt what you felt and it is normal. you are still in love with him. and the idea of him just breaks you over and over again... because you feel like he doesn't give a damn about you. But you got to let him go to free yourself from the pain of holding on to someone who doesn't feel the same for you.
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