Sooo just found out my fiancé doesn't know what he wants anymore & he needs time to think.. what should I do here?

So I thought my fiancé & I were super close, Bestfriends & ready to start a life together. I'm 16 wks pregnant & he's so excited about the baby.. but he just got back from a 4-5 day vacation in Texas where he & his brothers hung out. One of his brothers brought some friend girls to hang out with everyone. Well Saturday, they had a boat party & everyone got really drunk especially my fiancé or should I say ex fiancé now. Two days later he told me he had a hickey on his shoulder & he doesn't know where it came from. The same day he called me & told me he now knows where it came from, one of the girls they were all hanging out with told him that they had sex & he doesn't remember it at all! But the sad part is is that last night, I wanted to see the texts that the sent eachother just so I could see if maybe he drunk texted something to her that might jog his memory & he was really not wanting me to see. When I finally saw them, I saw that he told her that he likes her. That really broke me down bc just before he left to Texas, we were sooo close & we were great & when he was in Texas, tbh he was different. So when he first told me that they slept together, he wanted to work it out so bad, he was begging me but I told him that I didn't really trust him drinking or hanging around girls bc that situation happened. He wasn't ready to give any of that up, not even the girl that he had drunk sex with. He said that they are still friends & are cool with eachother & he just needed time to think things over. That right there told me that he doesn't know what he wants. Doesn't know if wants marriage, to be single, maybe the girl? So last night we were both crying & trying to talk things over & we kissed & almost had sex but I stopped him. He said he wanted to make love one last time, but I wasn't gonna fall into that trap. So he said give him time to make up his mind, but y'all I think I should just be done with him & only be friends with him. Advice?


Most Helpful Girl

  • Ah its you again! Okay here is what I think, you should give each other space, should be he forgiven.. thats up to you but I do know if you want something bad enough you CAN make it work if both people want it to. It sucks that he is uncertain though.. if he cheated and wanted to be with and is willing to make it up to you with time then it can be considered however he's just playing games, he's going to be a father and he's acting like a horny ass teenager. So ultimately its up to you.

    • Right? I don't think it will work bc even if I gave him another chance IF he even wants to be with me anymore, then I wouldn't be able to trust him bc of what happened with the girl while he was drunk. & then the fact that he thinks it's okay to still hang out with her & text her & be friends with her is beyond me!! I don't think I can make it work with him. I'm not gonna be able to be the same around him & im always gonna have questions. So we won't work. I will be his friend but I won't be his fiancée or girlfriend bc I don't trust him. He doesn't even wanna stop drinking for me when I'm not around so that tells me that he's not ready to give that up.

    • Thats a good choice, you have to do whats best for you and your baby!

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What Guys Said 1

  • sounds like he maybe be getting scared

    • Right. But this was only after he went to Texas. I think he got a taste of being single & hanging out with his single brothers & girls & all they did on vacation was go out to clubs & bars & party the whole time. He had a hangover on his way back to where we live & still had one last night. So if he has to choose between me & the single life& has to think about it then I'm not gonna waste my time worrying & wondering what he's gonna do. lol I've already changed his name in my phone & his contact picture. I just can't make myself delete our photos & videos tho lol.

    • Sounds like you already are handling thing very well. do what you have to. and your probably right. I remember those days.

What Girls Said 1

  • If he's indecisive about what he wants or who he wants, its better to stay friends for the time being.

    • I agree. I can easily be his friend but I can't be his fiancée or girlfriend anymore.

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