Boyfriend broke up due to outside stressful circumstances... but is there a chance he'll want to try again once things clear up for him?

We were together for about 7 months; we had a great connection & an overall good relationship. He's a nice guy but unfortunately fell on bad times towards the end which threw him into a sort of depression & then led him to break up with me. Just for reference, he's 39 & I'm 30. He told me I was everything that he wanted in a partner; our core values and beliefs all lined up. Around month 5, he started having work issues which led him to be unemployed for a month, during this time he broke up with me saying that he was going through a lot emotionally, he needed to get his life together, finish grad school, & just figure things out on his own & he didn't want to drag me down with him. But he said something puzzling to me, and it was along the lines of not seeing a future with me--which didn't make sense if I was supposedly everything he was looking for. He had also said something dumb & I asked him why would he say that, & he said he didn't know, it must be because of the way he's feeling (is that the "depression" speaking or really how he feels?). He claims I did nothing wrong, however when he started pulling away, I know I freaked a little bit & tried to spend more time with him which I think caused pressure for him even though that wasn't my intent. When we broke up, he said he wanted to be friends, but I ended up kind of doing NC with him for about a month, even though he would text me about once a week, usually just funny memes; I would respond after a few hours, but very short. I realized that if he was truly having a hard time, I couldn't just abandon him when he's already feeling down. So recently, we started talking more & even hung out twice. He texts me to tell me what's going on & tells me about his day; when I text him he responds right away. Is there a possibility he'll want to try again once things get better? Or was this just an excuse to get out of the relationship? If I remain friendly with him & supportive, will I be "friend-zoned"?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Don't bother. If he dumped you because he didn't have a shit together now, then what makes you think that he'll stick with you when you're married if he doesn't have a shit together? To be good and useful for a woman, a man needs to be a man and that means getting his shit together.

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    • I guess I've learned that the hard way, with men needing to be men and wanting to "provide" so I do understand his need to have his shit together, but I'm not one of those women who expect to be taken care of and he knows this; I'm very independent, own my own business and pay my own way. I know I shouldn't expect much or wait around... but could it be just a case of bad timing? I really love this man and want it to work.

    • What's the latest on this?

Most Helpful Girl

  • I'm going through the same thing myself. My boyfriend (24) just broke up with me a few days ago due to his mind not being in the right place. He was saying he just wasn't feeling it anymore and felt like the spark was gone and that the relationship ran its course. He wasn't sure if it's how things really are or if it's the depression telling him those things, but he felt that that's what he needed to do.

    I just have to believe that it's the depression talking and that when he actually seeks help for it, maybe there will be a possibility of getting back together. Hopefully that's how it is for your guy, too.

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What Guys Said 2

  • Tell him to let you know how he feels, you can't wait for somebody forever, if he's stringing you on then move on

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  • It's an excuse

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