Boyfriend broke up due to outside stressful circumstances... but is there a chance he'll want to try again once things clear up for him?

We were together for about 7 months; we had a great connection & an overall good relationship. He's a nice guy but unfortunately fell on bad times towards the end which threw him into a sort of depression & then led him to break up with me. Just for reference, he's 39 & I'm 30. He told me I was everything that he wanted in a partner; our core values and beliefs all lined up. Around month 5, he started having work issues which led him to be unemployed for a month, during this time he broke up with me saying that he was going through a lot emotionally, he needed to get his life together, finish grad school, & just figure things out on his own & he didn't want to drag me down with him. But he said something puzzling to me, and it was along the lines of not seeing a future with me--which didn't make sense if I was supposedly everything he was looking for. He had also said something dumb & I asked him why would he say that, & he said he didn't know, it must be because of the way he's feeling (is that the "depression" speaking or really how he feels?). He claims I did nothing wrong, however when he started pulling away, I know I freaked a little bit & tried to spend more time with him which I think caused pressure for him even though that wasn't my intent. When we broke up, he said he wanted to be friends, but I ended up kind of doing NC with him for about a month, even though he would text me about once a week, usually just funny memes; I would respond after a few hours, but very short. I realized that if he was truly having a hard time, I couldn't just abandon him when he's already feeling down. So recently, we started talking more & even hung out twice. He texts me to tell me what's going on & tells me about his day; when I text him he responds right away. Is there a possibility he'll want to try again once things get better? Or was this just an excuse to get out of the relationship? If I remain friendly with him & supportive, will I be "friend-zoned"?


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What Guys Said 3

  • Don't bother. If he dumped you because he didn't have a shit together now, then what makes you think that he'll stick with you when you're married if he doesn't have a shit together? To be good and useful for a woman, a man needs to be a man and that means getting his shit together.

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    • I guess I've learned that the hard way, with men needing to be men and wanting to "provide" so I do understand his need to have his shit together, but I'm not one of those women who expect to be taken care of and he knows this; I'm very independent, own my own business and pay my own way. I know I shouldn't expect much or wait around... but could it be just a case of bad timing? I really love this man and want it to work.

  • It's an excuse

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  • Tell him to let you know how he feels, you can't wait for somebody forever, if he's stringing you on then move on

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