Almost 5 years together, he left because I refused to sign a prenup?

I'm lost, don't know what to do anymore. we were going to get married and I was so happy but I consulted my lawyer and didn't want to sign the prenuptial under his terms. I spent so much time of my life with him and I really loved him but now he's gone


0|0
225

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 25

  • Did you shack up?
    Is he wealthy?
    If so, sue for "palimony".
    www.divorcenet.com/states/nationwide/palimony

    What's upsetting is that he doesn't trust you. Real love is about trust and being willing to expose yourself. When someone requests a pre-nup that is saying really that that person don't trust themself both in love and in decision making ability in picking a partner. Such a person is insecure and shouldn't be married anyway.
    For this reason, I would not sign a pre-nup nor force a pre-nup on a woman.

    Do this: Ask him WHY he wanted a pre-nup. Get down to a root cause... Determine what does he REALLY fear? If you can allay tjose fears, maybe he would abandon a pre-nup.

    0|0
    1|3
    • I would want a prenup. Not because I don't trust them in all their abilities, and who they are.
      I do it because people can change 20 years down the road. People think irrationally when they are angry or upset.
      Some people seek odd controls when they lose control.
      I would want to do it for the safety of both of us. I know I can change too, and I definitely act irrational when angered.
      I see it as logical.

    • Show All
    • I had a couple in my family who loved eachother deeply for years, got married, and everything was amazing for them.
      Eventually things happened during their marriage that weren't addressed correctly with communication. This caused a spiral of events, which later, the female decided the best way to get back at him would be to take him for everything.
      They had years of a healthy relationship, which eventually changed over 20 years, then she took him for everything.

      I completely understsnd what you are saying, and I know for a fact I would never want to harm anyone in any way, but irrationality can come to flourish, and everything is gone.

    • You know a person only in the present, not in the future.

      For the first 5-10 years of marriage, I wouldn't worry either. Why wait for the change to already transpire?

      I also would say there is a higher chance that two individuals will be rational over irrational, but that slight possibility is always a risk for both of us in a relationship.

      You may never know what life will throw at you. Why not prepare for that extreme rare case that will probably never happen?

      I mean, that's kinda what we do with life insurance.

  • Pretty dumb move eh?
    A prenup protects both parties and is an advantage for both. Only someone dishonest would refuse to sign a prenup. Especially with today's fem-centric court system.
    It protects both of your assets from before the marriage. I'll be he has his own business, doesn't he?

    This is a REALLY DUMB reason to blow up a perfectly good relationship - they are REALLY hard to find.

    0|1
    0|0
  • I wouldn't want to risk losing anything I've earned to a woman. no relationship is forever given enough times, and I wouldn't want to lose my house or car because she finally got bored and called it quits.

    2|1
    0|0
    • I totally support your right to ask for a prenup, but if you talk about it that way, you may no longer find it necessary lol.

    • Show All
    • There are tactful ways to ask for a prenup. Hint: they do not involve pointing out that "no relationship is forever". Which is technically not true anyway, unless we're including death here.

    • or inevitable boredom, given enough time.

  • Good man. Extremely intelligent choice on his part.

    1|4
    0|0
  • You say under his terms, but what terms in particular put you off?

    0|0
    0|0
  • Maybe you should have signed it

    0|0
    0|0
  • Todays divorce rate is 50/50 in the US, where I live. But I would never have to have her sign a prenup because she's gonna know up front I'm happily divorced. No more marriages.

    0|1
    0|0
  • Marriage is bad for men. People just shouldn't expect to get married at all anymore until they change the laws.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I would never marry anyone who would not sign a prenup under my terms - it means she is after my money or property and not after me.

    1|0
    0|0
  • Did you offer counter-terms? Or did you flat out refuse to even negotiate?

    0|0
    0|0
  • I'm sorry I know it hurts a lot (I proposed after 5 years and got a no) life dose get better than today I promise

    0|0
    0|0
  • You are young, you will find someone else. It will take time to get over him, but you will. He isn't worth holding onto.

    0|0
    0|0
  • He's a smart guy... you're going to let prenup papers get in the way of your "love"...

    0|1
    0|0
  • I'd say he probably felt like you were not there for him but for what you might bet in the event of his death or a divorce. Weather that actually was what you were thinking, that sounds like what he saw.

    0|0
    0|0
  • What were his terms?

    0|0
    0|0
  • shocker! just sign the papers. I just came from a post where a girl said she loved a guy, but she rejected him because a friend of her said so and now she wants him back. It's practically the same, but on an adult scale

    0|0
    0|0
  • Better tell us what were the terms about.

    0|1
    0|0
  • What kind of terms were they?

    0|0
    0|0
  • Why didn't you, you could have asked shim to change terms

    0|0
    0|0
  • Why didn't you want to sign it?

    0|0
    0|0
  • What are those terms you refuse and would you sign in if the terms changed slightly?

    0|0
    0|0
  • ... smart guy

    0|0
    0|0
  • Honestly as a man I don't see why most women won't sign a prenup. Women tend to think that we're going to be together for the rest of our lives cause we live a life of a fairy tale. Us men on the other hand tend to look at the facts of marriage, which is a lot of marriages end in divorce. The way I look at it is, if you believe in this fairy tale life of yours, that you'll always be together forever than you'll never have to exercise that prenup. Right? So I don't see the big deal in signing it. I think women tend to think that by him bringing one up, he has some doubts in his mind that our marriage may not last. Which yes there is a chance it won't last. This isn't just for men either, I think women should have one too if their worth a lot. Now if someone cause the marriage to go south as he cheated I could say maybe she should get something out of it. I mean if possessions are going to cure her "emotional distress."

    0|0
    0|0
  • sign the prenup you butthead. why do you want to consider the possibility to split things in a divorce that he owns? isn't it only fair to take what you came with?

    0|0
    0|0
  • Because, if you didn't sign it and you went ahead with the marriage anyway, you could have fucked him over at any point.

    0|0
    0|0

What Girls Said 2

  • Was there no way to change the prenup to compromise so that both of you could be okay with it? I wouldn't want to let a prenup get in the way of my relationship. It seems like you should have been able to figure out something that would work for both of you.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Depends on what kind of terms they were.

    0|0
    0|0
Loading...