What can you do to reduce the chance of divorce?

Im 23 and I'm in a relationship and we are getting married in a couple of months, but I get bad anxiety and panic attacks about the future and shit and I'm terrified out of my mind that we might get divorced, he's talking about children and stuff and atm thats the last thing I want because I don't want to be a single mum. Are there any factors that make divorce likely and what are the things you can do to reduce the chance of divorce. I understand thats I'm talking years in advance but I want to reduce the risk so that it will most likely not happen.

by the way I posted this twice cos i had no idea which catorgary it went in! :D


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Most Helpful Guy

  • The first thing you should do is STOP thinking about divorce before you're even married. Nothing good ever comes from negative thinking, you'll never get off to a good start with your mindset. Once you're married and living as one communicate, there's two of you to consider don't be self centered you'll have to give and take. Do things with him you really don't enjoy that he does like going to a ball game, fishing etc., and by you making sacrifices expect him to do the same. In time if you put his feelings above yours with certain stuff the foundation will get more and more solid. Also it's very important to take care of yourself, so many married couples let their self go appearance wise and gain weight, they don't take care of personal hygiene and lose self respect, once that happens it's a long road back if they get back at all. Remember you are what you think about mostly. Think positive trash the negative thinking.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Learn that no one is perfect, no marriage is perfect and the very best thing you can do for you and your partner is to communicate and never assume. Pick your battles instead of arguing over every tiny thing and make some form of intimacy a priority in your day

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 25

  • Communicate

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  • I don't know what are your feelings in your environment, but most cases I have noticed about divorce were because the woman wanted. That suggest me that women in general are not willing to be the rest of their life with their husband and accepting that their marriage wouldn't be as good as the ideal marriage that American love movies make people imagine. Are you willing to love your husband, understand him and try to fix any problem you have for the rest of your live? Are you sure that he accepted to marry you due to how you make him feel not just for your physical appearance? If you answers "yes" to the two questions, I think it's improbable you get divorced.

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  • According to me, the best solution is to hope for the best. Be positive and try to adjust your self with him. Make sure you help him and trust him during his journey of life. Ask for the same trust and help from him if you need any. Talk to him about your panic attacks and ask his help for the same. Understand each other and live life together.

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  • Over 70% of divorces are initiated by the woman. My advice is this;

    1. Don't listen to your friends if they try and destroy your marriage.
    2. Don't take relationship advice from toxic people.
    3. NEVER CHEAT!
    4. Just because YOU are bored does not mean the marriage was a mistake. The best couples eventually find out that being able to be bored together is a luxury. Bored means nothing terrible is happening. Enough things will happen in life without you helping it along with drama because you get a little bored.
    5. Learn to laugh at yourself.

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  • Then you should be loyal to him and try to cooperate and did everything for them but here you are telling us, you are afraid of children but He is talking about it and you have not put up your issues about having kids cuz you don't want to ruin the marriage.
    I will say if you can't hold a good talk about sensitive issue like this, then you shouldn't be married in the first place. I always recommend thinking with neurons not induced by Estrogen or testosterone or its female variant.

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  • HI. THE QUESTIONS ARE:
    HOW MANY BOYFRIENDS DID YOU HAVE BEFORE?
    THIS GUY WAS GOOD FOR YOUR LIFE OR LOOK LIKE THE EX?
    IF HE'S BEHAVIER LIKE YOUR EX, DO NOT THINK BAD ABOUT YOUR DICIDE AND FIND A NEW MAN BUT IF YOU HAVE CALM WITH HIM AND YOUR ARGUES DID NOT IMPORTANT, THINK BETTER ABOUT YOUR DECIED. IF YOU HAVE TIME TO HAVE WRONG CHOISES, IT WILL BE OK BUT IF YOU DO NOT HAVE ANY MORE TIME FOR NEW PERSONALITIES, IT WILL BE HARD FOR YOUR FUTURE LIFE TO FIND A BETTER PERSON.
    IF YOU WANT MONEY AND HE CAN NOT HAVE ENOUGH MONEY AND FUTURE WILL BE DARK, YOU CAN LEAVE HIM BUT LOOK, WEALTHY MEN WANT AT FIRST A PRETTY GIRL AND MOST OF THEM ARE TOO SELFISH, IF YOU ARE PRETTY AND YOU CAN BE WITH THESE PERSONALITIES, SO DO THE BEST

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  • Stop thinking negative, focus on the positive, as long as you love, respect, communication, maturity, loyalty, honesty, and being faithful, you have nothing worry about plus with these elements, you and your husband to be will overcome the temptation of this world.

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  • Dont let divorce cross your mind. Thats how it happens. And why wouldn't you have kids? You will both be taking care of them even if you split. Men aren't monsters, we love children with all of our heart and would love to have some so im sure he will be happy to take care of them for you.

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  • Submit and obey your husband. Your husband needs to respect you and love you as his own body. That should work.

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  • Cook, clean, empty his balls and don't talk too much.

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  • I think the divorce stats are something like 70% initiated by women. I'd say you're probably overreacting.

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  • Look, your husband sees a future with you. He wants to be with you for the rest of his life and have a family with you. You are overreacting. Everything will be great

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  • Well for starters u can start by not thinking about divorce and concentrating more on how to make ur marriage a successful one :)

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  • If you're that worried about the marriage failing, don't get married

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  • To become an exelent forgiver. No other opinion will matter beyond this...

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  • Make sure to know them as well as possible and be open minded with each other

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  • it's simple just don't put him in a situation that he will have to bring "divorce " up as an option... If he wants children then go ahead and give him some because no man can run away from his responsibles.

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  • You are living now, live it.
    The future is unknown, don't stress.
    Focus on the now, through time, you'll be stronger and prepared for the great beyond.

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  • Lucky you, i'm neither able to have a relationship yet, for the same reasons

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  • The only way to not end up divorced that is 100% effective is...

    ... don't get married!

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  • Not get married

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What Girls Said 7

  • We all have different views on Marriage and Divorce, but what I think is the moral way of thinking is that once you're married and have kids there should be no way out of it. You have a responsibility which you must carry until the children grow up. After that the parents can do whatever they want. Divorce is selfish. If you're going to get divorced there would have been no point in marriage. That's just like a regular relationship and break up. The innocent children should be put first. if not, I'm going to straight out state that it makes you bad parents. Domestic abuse is a different matter though.

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    • The only way is to teach our kids so they grow up and become responsible and virtuous people who know that once they get married they need to stay married (unless in the case of abuse)

    • If there are no kids involved, then there's more freedom, but divorce does make you seem like a quitter. If you fall in love with someone and they fall in love with you, it will last forever and there should be efforts made to maintain the marriage (again, unless it involves abuse). Honestly, I'd never date a man who's been divorced (unless he has a good reason). But that's all just me! Don't take my response too seriously!! :)) I'm a philosophy major. LOL

  • Literally, all you have to do is have a good relationship. This can be achieved by:
    -communication, if something bothers you don't act like it's nothing.
    -making time for each other, make sure you keep the romance alive.
    -create a routine, make sure you both have tasks and if he doesn't do them don't do them for him.
    -but also be spontanious so things don't get boring.

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  • starters don't think about divorce. don't let your new start be focused on this. also remember every marriage going to have an. argument, so don't let your pride or ego get in the way (it goes for both parties). don't let people into your marriage. also try new things, both romantic and sexually for things not to be redundant or boring. also be honest. And have open communication­čśâ

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  • Why do you think divorce is even a consideration? are you not confident in how much he loves you?

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    • I obviously am its just lots of my family and family friends have gone through divorce so it just seems like more people are getting divorced then not getting divorced

    • good point, I guess just ask yourself if you realistically see yourself getting divorced soon, and if so maybe you shouldn't be getting married

  • To reduce the chance of not getting divorced is to not to get married in the first place.

    If your having doubts what good is that gonna do for you in the future?
    Always be sure who your gonna marry.

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