Can I stay friends with my ex boyfriend who broke up with me?

My boyfriend broke up with me. He said very hurtful things like that he didn't love me anymore for a very long time. The situation: I live with my parents and me and my two sisters have been abused by my dad. He sometimes would hit us or scolds at us. For the past five years I have told my ex boyfriend about this and I also have stayed a lot of times at his home where I felt more safe. He was not only my boyfriend but also my best friend and we used to hang out and have fun with each other a lot. But I think it was too much for him. I also have had panic attacks, which was very frustrating for him too. But I visit a psychologist for more than a year who helped me and I have improved a lot. During the breakup he said that he feels more irritated than that he loves me. And that I deserve someone much better. And that if he would keep having a relationship with me that he would do it out of pity rather than out love. I asked him if we ever could stay friends but he said that wouldn't be possible because we are too different. During the breakup I was (of course) very emotional, but he was too, and I think that he wanted to make the breakup more clear by being rough to me. We didn't have a fight or anything and we are also not angry or hateful at each other. I haven't contacted him yet and planning to do that over a few week to return some of our stuff. I don't want to be in a relationship with him anymore, but he is a person in my life who meant a lot to me, and we also now have a lot of mutual friends who we both still hang out with. I want to give him some time to think about staying friends. I know we can't be best friends anymore, but I don't want someone like him disappearing out of my life even if we broke up.


Most Helpful Girl

  • It is possible. I'm really good friends with my ex and we hangout sometimes. So just talk to him and let him know that you want to stay friends with him. But I don't think you guys should immediately start being friends and hanging out. Just give it some time for you both to get over the break up

    • Thank you so much for your advice! I walked into him today and we had a short chat. He said that he absolutely doesn't hate me or anything and that he wanted te stay friends too. We also discussed that we don't want to hang out just yet because it is too soon (like you said) but that we will someday in the future :)

      (sorry for any bad grammar, English isn't my native language)

    • That's okay.
      But good to hear your staying friends :)

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