Guys.. advice please?

Just this week I found out my guy was trolling online dating accounts. The day after I found out, he decided that we are broken up. When I asked questions he says that it's because he no longer loves. What you need to know is, we didn't even argue about it. It was a civil sit down conversation before I was no longer able to let the years fall down my face. But still never any yelling. I wanted to deal with it like an adult. We have been living together over a year. I know work has him down, but other than that he's never mentioned that we were in a bad place. We have been so good, and right up until the day I found out he was still his goody, kissy kissy and playful self. It's so out of character.
Why would he does this? Why wouldn't he have talked to me? Why isn't he giving our relationship a chance, he's just giving up? We have our house and life together. He now has literally nothing but his computer now.
If he would actually talk to me I maybe could get answers, but that's not working either.
just a loving girl who doesn't want to lose her best friend and uproot her life :(


0|0
14

Most Helpful Guy

  • From the first day you both started dating, he was never truly totally into you. All this time he was just hoping he would find what he is looking for in you, and just never found it. You aren't the person he wants and knows you can't be a different person. No point in forcing something to work that your heart isn't into.

    0|0
    0|0
    • If he was never truly into me, then why give up everything to be with me? I never asked that of him. I never asked him to change who he was to fit with me.

    • Show All
    • At least he was honest and upfront with you when you confronted him.

    • That's what I mean. He's been completely out of character.
      He has always (I guess know I don't know that) been up front and honest with me. One of the reasons the hurt and shock hit so hard.

Most Helpful Girl

  • I think what's happening here is he knows he is guilty for doing what he did behind your back. The guilt doesn't fall on you but by blaming things on the relationship and saying he no longer loves you is just an easy way out of feeling bad for it. Now you are worried as to what may have gone wrong, why he no longer loves you, what could you have possibly done? Instead of focusing on how his behavior didn't change prior to this happening, he was his usual self with you and no signs of him feeling different about you as one would notice if they suspected their lover isn't giving his all in the relationship. From what you say, that wasn't the case. Things seemed to be fine and normal. Now all of a sudden his behavior has changed once the truth has been brought to light. I would hold yourself together and put your foot down. You did nothing wrong from what you say. I don't know your relationship, I don't know you as a person or him so I can only go off of your explanation. I could be wrong but that's just what it sounds like to me. You have been disrespected as his woman, and the one who should be falling out of love is you for the distrust he brought into the relationship, not him. If he really did fall out of love and he isn't just using that as a way out of his guilt, then I'd say move forward with your life and pay no mind to someone who wasn't considerate enough of your feelings to have come to you to start with if he was really so unhappy with you.

    0|0
    0|0

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 3

  • He's wanted out for some time and work has nothing to do with it. The truth is it was all a lie. He tried to be happy from the start but never was and couldn't take it anymore. Under no circumstances take him back. It'll just be more lies

    0|0
    0|0
  • sounds like catfishman. the online dating troll. like lucretious says, the meaning of life is to seek pleasure and avoid pain. if i were to take a guess id imagine it gives him great pleasure to troll people on the internet. tbh catfishman is my favorite super villan, can u get an autograph from him? then give it to me somehow?

    0|0
    0|0
    • usually catfishman enjoys setting up dates, then watching as his date whom he convinced to buy the movie or opera tickets waits outside in frustation. haha, thatll show u for making guys pay for dates all the time or something like that

  • I troll online dating accounts too. Easy pickings its quite addicting actually

    0|0
    0|0
    • Are you in a solid relationship? If so, I'm honestly asking, why troll the sites? Wouldn't you talk to your SO if you felt the relationship was missing something?

    • Show All
    • Do you take it that one step further and actually go on dates with the girls you are messaging, or is it strictly online for some thrill and chase?

    • Thrill and chase its not a good combo with dating or relationships good reason for me to stop but its hard

What Girls Said 0

The only opinion from girls was selected the Most Helpful Opinion, but you can still contribute by sharing an opinion!

Loading... ;