Is it really possible to stay friends with this kind of ex?

It was a 3 year relationship. I thought it was secure but in the end for reasons I won't go into I ended it.
We struggled to stay not talking, added each other back on social media.
We both aren't sure what we really want although the connection is still very strong.
I can't get back with him, but I also can't not talk to him because we are both close.
I still check up on his Instagram likes etc and I'm worried he's gonna find someone else. I don't know why I care about likes but on girls pictures I still wanna know what's going on.
Can I really be friends because I'm stuck in the middle of wanting to fall back into his arms and wanting to be free but not managing to let go.


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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • Yeah, you're clearly not at a point where you can dissociate your friendship and your romantic feelings.


What Girls Said 1

  • I wouldn't stay friends with this person if you know you two will never get back together.
    Breakups happen for a reason, and sure you two can stay friends but the jealousy, neediness and false hope will always be there. If you cannot get back together or work things out, then moving on is probably your best solution.
    The connection may be strong for now, and not talking with this person seems impossible, but it will fade over time. You have to give yourself a chance to get over this relationship and process through healing.
    I made the mistake of remaining friends with an ex and trust me, it doesn't get easier. Some make it work, but seeing a person you once loved and cared for with someone new is very difficult.

    Think of yourself. Do what your heart is telling you and don't let the bond you once had keep you in an unhappy place. You're not in a relationship with this person anymore, and you both have discussed things will not work out. I say break away from this person, cut ties loose and move forward. Otherwise this guy will be dragging you back into this same spot over and over, and it'll be impossible for you to move on and be happy with someone new.
    Best wishes to you. You can do this, think it over and do what you feel is the BEST thing for YOURSELF, not necessarily the right thing for you two. Think of only you.


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