Seeking explanation?

I'm trying to get better after having my heart torn out and I'm kind of getting better but some days are just really bad. I'm still feeling confused as to what went wrong and I keep asking myself why am I not good enough and all that sh*t. Iv thought a lot about contacting my ex and trying to get some sort of explanation. Do you think that is a good idea? did it help you? I'm a bit hesitant to do so because it might make me feel worse


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What Girls Said 2

  • I think the hardest thing about wanting closure or an explanation is that no matter what, it isn't going to fix how you feel after all. It might give you relief in the moment and then after It will probably just give you one more thing to over analyze and bounce around in your head.

    I don't think an ex can give you closure. I think we give ourselves closure when we acknowledge and accept how the break up has made us feel. That doesn't mean you are saying what your ex did is "okay" but you are recognizing how you are feeling and choosing to move forward. I think it's about taking back some of the power we give to the ex that allows them to make us feel certain ways.

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    • Yeah I agree with you. I do tend to over analyse things and it almost always gets me down. I nearly gave in yesterday though. Yesterday I was just feeling really really down. Really appriciate the answer. Thank you!

  • Sometimes closure will help a lot, but other times you just need to let wounds heal and not pick at the scabs because doing so may turn them into scars.

    When a break up occurs, it doesn't have to mean that "something went wrong" or that either party isn't "good enough." Sometimes relationships end because they fizzled out, people fell out of love, people grew apart (emotionally/physically), interests changed, wants changed, differences became more clear, etc. Some break ups really have nothing to do with the broken (sometimes the breaker is the "problem" or maybe it wasn't either of you).

    Moving on is the best thing to do in the long run. It's really tough, but sometimes just letting old dogs lie helps.

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    • Moving on is really hard.I have good days and bad days like today. I love her so much even though she cheated. I wish she knew how much I care about her and how much I miss her. I'm sorry I Just feel like I need to tell someone how I feel if it isn't her. Its just so tough. Today is just a really bad day for me. :(

    • I sometimes still have bad days regarding exboyfriends from years ago. Honestly. That's the thing about loving someone. You will probably never forget them, and you might have bad days for even years to come, but as time passes - the bad days aren't so bad until they're no longer bad at all. It's part of falling in love. You just have to ride out the bad days, and be thankful for the good ones. It's easier if you find things to distract you

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