I need some closure from my ex girlfriend, words of blunt wisdom - please anyone?

I was dating my girlfriend for 6 months and everything was perfect. She lived about 4 hours away but we made it work and saw each other every other week for a full week at a time. Everything was awesome, not 1 single complaint. Out of no where she started acting odd. Literally an overnight change. Started going out way more often then she usually did to crazy hours of the night without contacting me the whole night, started to not contact me as often as she use to let me know she is at work etc, and after a week of this behavior when I very nicely questioned her about the change she started saying random hurtful things like "we are not married I do not need to report into you" "I am putting my foot down I am not letting you control what I do." When I tell you I changed nothing through out this relationship I tell you I changed nothing. I found out those "nights out with the girls" where nights out with her ex. The topping of the cake is that I found out several nights she told me she was busy or sleeping she was chatting up her ex for hours on end, a few times ignoring my calls until the next morning to continue talking to him..sending me him photos at night claiming they where nothing but old photos he wanted of them..right lol and when I asked her she LIED until I called her out on it. I had enough and I ended it. Called and told her everything she did wrong, called her out on her lying and that was not how you treat a partner etc and ignored her for a week. I was DONE with her. I broke down after a week of calls, texts, apologies from her and she was like id be willing to do ANYTHING to prove to you things will be different I will change. I called her. She pulled my chain as soon as I gave in started acting crappy again. I seem to keep contact with her because of that false hope of getting back together which will never happen. I need to forget this woman or what? I know what I need to do, I just need a blunt wake up call, thanks!


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What Girls Said 1

  • Your relationship is a house fire. You're close enough to the stairs to escape, but also have a small fire extinguisher with you. You have all sorts of memories in this house that you do not want to lose because they mean so much to you, so you continue to avoid escape and try to fight the fire and save what's left. You look down and you see that you're running on low. Now it is time to decide if you want to make that run for the stairs/door if you want to stay as long as you can until there's nothing left - including you.

    It really sucks having to let go, but sometimes once you're out of extinguishant you have to see that you tried your best and that you cannot save what is left. You need to run while you still can save yourself, and replace the belongings (memories) you could not save with new ones.

    Get out of the fire kid. You're running low and if you wait much longer who knows if you'll ever be able to get out.

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    • Thanks for responding! I really like how you put this together in an example like that. It really helped me. It still hurts, but I have nothing left. At this point she knows what she did was wrong and is just using me as a security blanket. I need to cut her off completely and just move on. Thanks again!!

    • No problem, it's what the site is for. Good luck and I hope you find someone who actually deserves you.

What Guys Said 1

  • Hey I read your question and I'm very sorry I don't have an anwer but I thought OMG I couldn't belive it. This is EXACTLY what happened to me. I really need to know somthing. You say that you called her and told her everything she did wrong. How did that work out? were you more or less hurt after telling her what she did wrong? I am thinking about getting in contact with my ex too to get some closure but I don't know if that is just going to hurt me even more. What do you think I should do? Please help me I'm just like you and its just taring me up inside. :(

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    • Hey man, I am going to tell you straight up and really blunt. I contacted her for closure and I got nothing out of it but more pain. I wish I NEVER went back and contacted her, I was doing so well not hearing from her and all of sudden I broke down and it was just a HUGE disappointment. I learned from this experience that people don't change. She knows what SHE did was wrong. You and I need to IGNORE them and move on. Whatever you do DO NOT GIVE IN AND CONTACT HER NO MATTER WHAT. Trust me!!

    • Hey man thanks. I agree with you totally. I do think now it will make me feel a lot worse if I contact her. I think you just saved me from a lot more pain.

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