Do guys move on easily?

OK, so I met this guy who practically stopped me in the street and asked my number. I gave him and since the first date I thought he was too good to be true. He was handsome, nice, polite etc. We started dating and going out every day as he would come pick me up every evening. We didn't have sex, just went stayed at his home making out and even fought like boxing each other playfully, he seemed to enjoy that too.

We had a quarrel 4 weeks ago and he explicitly told me "don't ever ring my phone" and I didn't. Since then I have seen his car patrolling around my house 3 times. I dint ring him since then, I have even deleted his number. Now my question is, did this guy like me? do they move on easily or think about girls who didn't bent to their will?

I haven't called him since then, I haven't been to the places he has been and when I saw him in the street, I avoided him, I changed road he didn't see me, although from that distance he seemed so damn gorgeous.

First time I saw him patrolling my neighborhood was the day he told me not to call him anymore. I'm not in love with this guy, I just like him. We had been dating only for a month but we seemed to have fun together, adapt, match, connect.
Updates about that guy: I came to find out from trustable sources that he is an asshole alright, he has a girlfriend and treats her awfully.

They have been together for long but he mocks her in front of his friends and calls names on her.
So prince charming was a wolf in disguise. However, that girl has never called him when I was with him, not even one phone call the hasn't answered, and I would have noticed if his girlfriend would call him.He is still patrolling my neighborhood.


Most Helpful Guy

  • He sounds like a player who, has only got 50% of his "game" together. Given all the smooth moves in the beginning, but then you date a month and don't have sex. there's something wrong there. For whatever reason he told you not to phone him, that was definitely a mistake on his part in the heat of the moment. it's emotional attachment that make people behave irrationally. like patrolling your neighbourhood instead of calling and apologising or accepting that's he's really fk'ed this one up.

    the ability to move on is the ability to rationalise what just happened. It depends on my level of attachment as to how quick I can do this. Quicker usually I'd say as I understand the way of people pretty well but still emotions interfere with the ability to think rationally.

    • He said I was playing difficult, maybe he meant it for the sex, but I really couldn't have sex with him. I have had Hep B, and don't want anyone to blame me if they get infected. I really didn't know how to tell him, so I couldn't have sex without telling him first. That's what was holding me back

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What Guys Said 7

  • It depends on a) the person's personality, b) how much they were in love, and c) how many times they broke up with other people in their past (the more they do it, the easier it gets).

    E.g. I am the emotional type. I take really long to move on and break connection with anyone, even if we were only friends.

    • Two more things:

      a) easy come, easy go

      b) how to spot a player:

      I'm not saying he is a player, but it sounds a little easy-come easy-go. If he wants to completely avoid you over one little quarrel then you are better off without him, sorry.

      How long were you together?

    • Yep that's right. And I'm not a stalker kind of person, if I am told not to call, I will completely avoid him.

    • Since you lived together for a while, I think you should at least confront him directly about a) him stalking you and b) the argument you had. If he is not willing to discuss it then go ahead and avoid him. Relationships cannot work if people refuse to communicate openly and discuss problems.

  • A wise comedian once said something like this:

    "You know how you women have that post break up 24 hour 'eat icecream and cry' period. Well men have something similar. We have the 24 hour find a woman who looks just like you period!"

    Now, does that make an sense? No? Well, I'm really bad at paraphrasing. However the gist of it is, that men (when they're actually emotionally involved) find it just as hard as women to let go. The only difference is, we'll try and keep it to ourselves. If we want to cut it off, we pretty much internalize everything and pretend like nothings wrong. (which then manifests itself in unintended ways, thus the "find a woman who looks just like you")

    • I understand that. He must have found another girl already, he didn't lack neither the looks nor the money. But what I'm asking is do you guys remember of girls who didn't bend to your will, the ones you didn't knock down? Or It just passes.

    • Bend to our will? No offense, but that sounds like a really strange idea of a relationship to me. If I'm with someone, it's not about bending her to my will. We may have arguments, but the key to it is working out an agreeable compromise. Bending my partner to my will really sounds wrong to me.

  • NO, he still loves you and the fact that he told you not to call him, was a test to see if you could stop.Maybe he realized that you wouldn't call and that it would make him suffer.That game isn't all that good but I believe that he loves you and that's the reason he is still moving along your home.

    Work it out with him, I mean maybe you should pass somewhere you know he will see you and hope he will make an approach.BUT IT'S NOT EASY TO MOVE ON IF HE LOVED YOU.

  • he wants you to call him. of course he likes you. I sometimes say that to girls to see if they would call me. if they do then I know they really like me. I know its a sh*t way of finding out but it works. obviously your too strong for him. you seem independent like you don't need a guy in your life but you want one. he sounds like a stalker. looks can be deceiving... anyways, if I'm in a long relationship it takes time to heal but short ones doesn't take much time at all

    • I can't call him, I deleted his number and all his text messages. I have no connection to him other than him.

  • If you care about someone the way you should when in a romantic relationship it could be very hard to get over someone. The way relationships work now-a-days is they become so close to being married without being married a breakup is more like a divorce than a parting of the ways, which leads to the extended amounts of time to get over someone you held so close.

  • guys seem to be moving on easily but take my words if they really like som1...they DON'T!

  • He sounds stubborn. There are some guys who never really get over a girl, but are too dumb to admit it until it's too late. I don't think it's as simple as he just moved on. He may have by now, but it didn't happen the night you had that fight. You were both mad at each and said things you probably later regretted. Unfortunately, he's probably not mature enough to call you back.

    I don't know any guys who move on that easily. Some like to pretend they do, but it's a facade. The fact that he drove past your place 3 times almost proves it. The reason the guy doesn't do anything is it's pride, and also maybe that he thinks he's screwed things up so much that there's no way you won't reject him. So he gives up without even trying.

    Another possibility, if you think the fight came too easily, is that he purposely escalated it because he wanted out of the relationship. Even then, he probably still regrets what he did, because if he didn't have any feelings for you he would have simply broken up with you without a fight. Maybe he wanted sex, and he'd rather break up with you than cheat on you. Or maybe it wasn't that...maybe he was perfectly happy with you and that's why he broke up...I've seen this before, guys who screw things up when they're good because deep down they don't think they deserve it.


What Girls Said 4

  • Omg I know this feeling, this happened to me 3 months ago. We feel out I expressed my feelings and he said no he wouldn't like to continue our relationship when we were so close. And he has already moved on when I can't so I guess in short yes they do.

    • Yep they do, they seem to be more emotionally detached.

  • what was the fight about? dang...

    • The fight was pretty stupid, I saw him in the street in his car, he was driving and I was waiting for him to approach me but he didnt, so when he called in the evening I didn't answer the phone. he kept on calling, I didn't answer,

      I rang him 4 days later, and he told me " why are you playing difficult, why don't you answer my calls" I said I was not, and I was mad cos he hadn't spoken to me in the street.

      He pretennds not to have seen me, I still have my doubts on that.

  • i had a very similar situation, and my connection with the guy lasted like 3 years. I know, crazy! games up and down right to left, we were like on and off every 3 months. We didn't have sex either, we actually come from religious families wasn't an option but we initially liked each other a lot and impacted each other very much. Anyways, the moral of my story, if it helps you out in any way, is that over the span of 3 years, even though he was stubborn and would tell me off or act like he hates me, and I submissively would step back and never look at him again (even though I missed him a lot and loved him secretly) he STILL made efforts eventually to come talk to me again at least, to say hi, to be nice to me again, re hinder the friendship...there was still the attraction and spark, and I could just tell he DID NOT MOVE ON, as I thought he would, since he's the one that blew me off/rejected me. I don't know what made him held back from having a relationship with me, making it official, may be he's just a typical college guy afraid of committment, may be its his school work family pressuring him, I don't know, he does go out party clubbing flirts with other girls (doesnt sleep with them though) and I don't think he knows what he wants. But he definitely didn't want me to forget him, and I definitely affected him in some ways I'm not clear on but point is- men don't move on and they are emotional too they just have an advantage of hiding their emotions really well, unlike women who are overly expressive and sensitive biologically.

    • Thx, but I hadn't been dating him for that long, although it would have been nice.

  • I don't think guys move on easily. They say that after a break up or a fall through of any type of relationship you had, a guy will seem as if they moved on at first but it doesn't take too long after(perhaps a few months) until they realize the reality of things. So this is usually when you end up hearing from them again. Not EVERY guy will have this happen to them but in your situation I believe he is still thinking about you a lot, I mean why else drive past your house? He might actually be stubborn which is why he hasn't texted/called you since. Not only might he be stubborn but he could also be embarassed. He might not knowhow exactly to handle the situation with you since HE did say not to call him again. My guess would be that you will be hearing from him in the future at some point, just be happy you didn't have sex.


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