Dating the rebound?

So my ex broke up with me after 5+ years. I was devistated. Thought this guy was the one. As much as I was hurting, I met this other guy a few months later and we were just casually seeing each other a few months - until he dropped the L-bomb. Before I'd even realised it I was in a relationship with my rebound guy.

We've now been together 3 years and things are comfortable but I still miss my ex and I wonder if that's because I got into this relationship too soon. I love this new guy and on paper he is perfect for me apart from the fact that I still have the ex on my mind. To me he is 'comfortable' but its a total backflip compared to my ex that was far more sexy and intense and challenging. I keep telling myself love is just different the second time around but is that really true?

Anyone been in this situation? Do I break up with my guy for no real reason other than that I am comparing him to someone else? Do I choose to settle and take solace in the fact that 'comfortable' isn't such a bad thing?


Most Helpful Guy

  • No experience, but I think for anyone it is normal to have residual feelings for your ex for a period of time. No set time, everyone is different. I think those feelings will gradually subside eventually. I think you should stick it out with this guy a bit more. You are comparing two different people, and your opinion is still biased towards your ex. If you feel the same general way about this guy in another month or so, then maybe cut him lose and take some more time for yourself.


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  • so basically what you're saying is you don't like him. break up


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