I want to break up with him but he's going through a really difficult time?

Do I wait it out and be there for him or do I stick in the knife and do it now?

Updates:
So for everyone that's asked...

I've wanted to break up with him for a while. We don't share the same ideals when it comes to the future and our relationship isn't... going anywhere.

Recently he's found out his pregnant sister is really sick and he's taken on the responsibility of looking after his family with stress from moving and his work Tooo.

I feel horrible about breaking up with him now. I want to be there for him because he really is a good guy, but I don't want to lead him on..

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Most Helpful Guy

  • If you don't break up with him now he'll think you're the only person who is always there for him and will make it harder for you to break up, if you do break up with him now he'll feel like you kicked him while he was down and will probably never forget this. It's a tough choice but the outcomes I said are not certain.

    If you think he is a good guy and you still want to stick by him explain it to him and tell him the truth about why you want to breakup, your reasons seem reasonable so he might get over it fast.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • You should definitely wait it out. I don't think he is capable of handling a break up in addition to all that he is already going through. If you've always been a good girlfriend then why spoil that image now?

    He'll just think you were a bitch in the end who dumped him during his rough time.

    You should have a nice and clean break up
    when the time is right. Also, you said it yourself that you want to be there for him and that he's a good guy. You obviously think he's worth the wait, so do what your heart tells you to.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 21

  • The best time to do anything is NOW.
    However, if you could wait until his situation gets better, it'll be easier on him to deal with his family.
    What you could do in the mean time is create distance from him. Do not try to help him as it'll give him false illusion that you'll stick by him through thick and thin.
    End it gracefully by stating that your values and ideals are different and it'll be best for you to take separate paths. Give him a grievance period. They say two weeks are okay. Then cut off all contact.
    Even if you want to stay friends, you have get far from each other to stop the emotional trauma and give yourselves time to heal.

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  • Being there for him may just make him feel more of a need to have you in his life and that, inadvertently, may really lead him into assuming that you will always be there for him.

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  • Stick the knife in. He'll get over it... or become a MGTOW.

    Seriously, why do you want to break-up with him?

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  • Although I'm in favor of supporting him, there is never a good time for a break up. Before this situation with his family is solved the holidays are coming, you don't want to break up either. Next thing is coming is valentine day and you don't want him be alone, so when is the right time to break up.
    My advice is, think good what you want to do (I think you already did that, because you were thinking about it for a while) and end it quickly. Make clear to him why you are leaving him. Maybe write it down if you are scared of him persuading you to stay.

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  • depends what the difficult time is and how long it will last, like if he has something important in a week you could stay if he has a depression for a year you shouldn't

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  • My expierences ass affected Partner or as Break Up Partner. There will be never a good day to submit Bad News in or any Kind of that stuff. Hard Times will be Happen in life, so sad it Sounds! Nevermind! But you should be honest With you in First Line, what you makes you happy and i think.. to Play wrong With feelings, to be Not correct to whome you should is in the end more stressful for both. When He has a hard time at the Moment, you can be there.. as friend. But dont give Up your expensive time, With more negative impact as the honest word

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  • Be there for him but not as her girlfriend. Dagger to the heart. It will be painful but for better. I hope he understands this somehow.

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  • Since we aren't talking about a decade plus relationship get it over with sooner than later, because the respect and love for standing there with him in these hard times isn't yours to have.

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  • Its not going to get easier later...

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  • You dont even need to post all that gibberish i didn't read. Its simple really, no. You have a life to live too sooooooooo. Live it.

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    • The sass wasn't necessary. My original question was simple. People asked for more info.

    • Well its simple. But u know people like to draw things out.

  • Then don't! But let him down easy if there's nothing you can do to turn it around or feel differently about your heart isn't good bing you any reasonable n to stay then you gotta do what's best for you you can't force things if you dont want to do it now wait till there's a better time.

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  • Is it possible that you want to break up with him because you've lost attraction to him due to his current mood? I need a bit more info to answer properly.

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    • I think you should break up with him now. I know it'll hurt him and you'll feel terrible, but frankly you'd feel that way even if he wasn't having all these problems.

  • Draging it out will make it worse and harder for you to pull, the trigger

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  • U gotta do what u gotta do

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  • There is no point dragging it out, i would get him whilst he is down, not to be nasty but to be kind. He may think at the end of the ruff patch he still has you, but then your gunna make it worse if you drag it out :/ harsh to be kind lol

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  • it all depends

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  • Pull the trigger. If your not happy your lying to him as well as yourself

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  • sucks for him, crush his heart please

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  • Check how sensitive your matter is? Then take a call

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  • Sure, kick the dog while he's down.
    Totally won't backfire.

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  • Wouldn't that then make you officially, a bitch?

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    • Wouldn't that STILL make you a bitch, regardless?

    • Show All
    • And what do you mean "amount to anything"? Did you go in thinking this guy might be "the one"

      That's quite a scary thought. No guy wants a girl going in thinking "oh, I'm going to marry him"

      No, that's FUCKED UP

    • No I didn't, but as I've gotten to know him I know i don't see anything long term

What Girls Said 9

  • If you're planning to break up with him, it's better to just end it. The longer you date, the worse he will take it when you break up.

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  • How long have you been together?

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    • 8 months, so a decent amount of time, but not like it's a long term relationship.

    • Agreed. It's never a good time to break up so I say just get it over with in the nicest way possible

  • tbh I've been in the same situation and it'd be best to tell them the truth and break up with them instead of keep going.

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  • I would just support him as a friend. There will not be a 'good' time to breakup. Just make sure to put YOU in 1st place. Always.

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  • His difficult times aren't meant to be yours. Dump him.

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  • Pull the trigger. Difficult time never actually passes. It just changes.

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  • I think you should break it off. Explain to him that you're there for support though of course and just let him know it's because you have different ideas for the future and that things just aren't lining up exactly how you wanted them to. Like another poster said, there's never a good time to break up with someone. Just rip the bandaid off. It will work out don't worry. You'll be setting him free really, how would you feel if someone was staying with you out of pity? Or just sticking around because they didn't want to upset you? Best to break it off.

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  • break up now

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  • Kinda depends on the situation...

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    • Well seeing the situation, your better off doing it now. As it'll only get more complicated when the baby arrives and more painful

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