Relationship abruptly ended without warning after 4 months is it permanent? What should I do?

My boyfriend (well now ex) has been seeing eachother for almost four months. We spend most weekends and at least another weeknight together.

We've been very happy together or so I thought. I know we've been having problems in terms of intimacy and that has made him depressed and frustrated. Aside from that we've been both quite unhappy with our jobs and have been actively seeking. The time I saw him last before the breakup we were talking going out to dinner with my friends following week.

Yesterday he broke up with me saying he doesn't think it is workkng. He said hey that after being unwell with the flu he no longer feel excited about the relationship and doesn't see it as a long term. Despite last week saying he's been getting into contact with his grandparents because he wants them to know about me. He has told his entire about me and we were at the point of meeting them and fact we were planning our Christmas together. He got up got all his belongings then gave me a hug and kiss on the forehead and left but not before saying that we can talk about it all if I want to.


The only thing has happened between last time I saw and the breakup was the fact I got offered a new job. The more I think about the more confused I get. My gut feeling is that the other stresses in his life has made him doubt about the relationship and where he is currently in life. I would like to give us both space to think about what has happened. I think the relationship had great potential I didn't see anything that said otherwise. I knew he hasn't been as affectionate and happy but thought it'd be stress and his sickness. It was too sudden for me to digest and accept what has happened and I plan on eventually reaching out to him. Any thoughts on the opinion would be great. I just feel like he needed space to think things through and that it may not be permanent. Thanks in advance


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Sounds like a codependent relationship that was, built on mutual unhappiness and life issues. He likely saw that what you had was just unhealthy or your new job showed promise of, you being happy ans he didn't want that

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Most Helpful Girl

  • First off, I'm sorry for seeming nosey or rude. Were y'all having sex? I'm only asking because from your question i got that when you said y'all were having intimacy problems meant y'all weren't having sex. If so, he may have felt that things were going too slow, he wanted sex so since you weren't ready, the relationship wasn't going where he wanted so he was done with it. If thats the case then he wasn't the kind of guy you want to date.

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    • We didn't have sex. He has issues in that area.

    • Oh he has the issue, ok now I'm thinking that he got upset about his issues and broke up because of his issue.

    • It was a very touchy topic in the last few weeks... but I didn't think it'd be the reason to end the relationship. Do you think I should reach out to him (I'm a few weeks when we've both have space) ? Or just let it go?

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • he doesn't know what he wants and he's playing with your emotions

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What Girls Said 1

  • He probably was cheating

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