Why can some people move on quick from a break-up whereas others cannot?

Why do you think some people can move on quickly from a break-up whereas other people cannot?

what do you think the reasons are?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • It depends on a persons own character , and how they respond to their pain and emotions after a breakup.

    Some people are emotionally stronger than others and can adapt quickly to the breakup. They accept it's over, so put it behind them and move forward and on with their life. They refuse to allow the pain of the breakup to consume them. They keep active and their mind focused on things other than the breakup and their ex.

    Some people persistently dwell on the breakup and their ex. They hold onto keepsakes, and spend most of their time reminiscing about what " was" and what should've / could've been. This just keeps their pain raw , and prevents them from moving on. Reminiscing feeds memories and memories feed the pain. They get locked in a cycle of grief. Therefore, they fail to move on.

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    • Very true!! Also I think another variable that comes into play here is based on how much you actually liked the person - the more you liked them the harder it is I feel.

Most Helpful Guy

  • Some people put a lot into a relationship, sometimes everything. To the point where they base their self worth on it and take ages (or never in some cases) to recover from the pain and regain their confidence.

    Others can usually get over that quicker, they go find someone to boost their confidence and get that "loved" feeling again.

    Then you have cases when it's just one partner who loses interest and has moved on before the break-up even occurred, while the other one didn't.

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What Girls Said 23

  • I move on easily, very easily. I fall hardly and kinda easily too. But my friends say I can forget a person in a day. At some point it is true.
    I think no one is special in the world, special enough to make it hard to move on.

    I make the person special with my feelings and once he doesn't value it or I guess there's no point to continue our thing. I just go. It's always me who ends things. I have a sense mile away, I can know what he feels weeks or months ago he knows.

    And I know that once in a relationship the man I'll love will be one of the luckiest and happiest one. So I definitely know that he loses more than I do. It makes things easier.

    I believe that everything what I felt was worth it. I am even glad he helped me experience those sparkling feelings I had to him. I am happy our thing happened and happy it ended the way it ended because that's what makes a story I'll remember when old and say "fuck yeah I lived and loved".

    World is full with potential lovers, you can love all of them once they fit your criteria. Even if compatible guy was only one in a million, no problem, here are 7 milliard people in the world. He was special, he was. There will be another one and most definitely my love will be stronger than before.

    Every next one is better than last one. They all help me learn and grow and feel, no matter, sad or happy. They make me feel alive. That's it, my philosophy.
    If I move on It doesn't mean I forget, I remember them and appreciate them for being there for me back then but life goes on and so am I.

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  • Depends entirely on the depth of love and how badly you loved them. I really do not see how someone who completely and utterly loved another human being to the moon and back can move on at the snap of a finger. Feelings don't work like that.

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  • The person who moved on quickly wasn't really as invested as the other person in the relationship. or they were already checked out of the relationship long time ago before the break up actually happened. Or someone else was already in queue before the actual break up thus you were replaced and it means you were now a memory to them. :/ sucks but such as life. I moved on quicker than I imagined when I caught my ex cheating on me.

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  • There's one break up I can't move on from, mainly because I put in my all for the person. When someone gives their all and the relationship ends, it's hard to just do it all over again. But others I moved on quickly from because I didn't care. It was all about being physical

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  • Depends on whether they were in love or not. Also, some people "move on" quickly because they want to look over it, and try to forget the pain and heartbreak.

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  • Depends on the reason why they left. If it was a very negative relationship to them then they move on easier.

    If the relationship had many positives to them, then its harder to move on.

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  • It could be that the people who move on well are not actually moved on, but are simply better at putting on a facade that all's well. Also, these people who have an easier time post breakup often have more going on in their own lives as in they're more invested in pursuing a post secondary education, have a job they're passionate about or more ambitious about doing well in, etc.. So.. as a result, they have an 'easier' time shifting their focus towards other things in their life, rather than choosing to ruminate on the heartbreak and whatever led to that.

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    • 100% it's best to just keep busy with career, friends, hobbies & interests etc.

  • Those that move on quick either never really cared to begin with, or they haven't really moved on they just make themselves feel better with a rebound.

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  • Maybe they were ready to move on before things ended. Or it was terrible and they wanted a distraction. Or they just didn't give af.

    It takes me at least 6 to 8 months before I attempt to find anyone else.

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  • I'm not really sure why, but I know for me it is extremely hard to move on if I was in love with someone. My first love, it took me a year to completely get over him. Then, when I fell in love again, in my early twenties, we had only been with each other for eight months and it took me over a year to completely move on.

    I think it has to do with how strong your feelings were for that person. I was in a two year relationship with someone, whom I didn't love near as much as the two I mentioned above, and it didn't take me long at all to move on.

    Depends on the degree of fondness, I suppose.

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  • Maybe they were already prepared to leave and had accepted it, or maybe they care anymore, or had never cared to begin with.

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  • It depends on how much they cared. You can't just turn feelings on and off, and anybody that says they can is lying and never had real feelings to begin with.

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  • Some people don't feel emotions for people the same as others. They're not invested in the relationship like others.

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  • Perhaps it doesn't allow any time for emotions to transition into something more painful?

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  • IT depends how much you liked them, how much you invested, how long the relationship went on, and how many relationships you had before

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  • They say (and I believe it to be true), that girls get over a guy way quicker than men. Girls tend to "break down" right away, and get over it and move on after the break down.

    Whereas guys tend to turn to alcohol, partying, other girls etc. right after a break up (which makes the girl think he is completely over her, but he's not), and after that phase, the guys' "break down" comes finally, and he starts to feel miserable - when the girl has already moved on. And guys often never get over a girl completely, as she will always stay in the back of his mind...

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  • maybe the ones who move on quickly weren't that much into the relationship and wanted to move on

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  • Cause they never cared and wasn't that emotionally invested into the person or relationship.

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  • Some are more emotional (attached) than others

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  • Yeah I can't

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What Guys Said 30

  • This might look so silly to everyone, but is a great idea to those who take their marriages/relationship serious. i have been passing through some terrible relationship and today am a testimony of all that happened between me and my man, i have been married for over 4 years now, and i just found out my man was having sex with another woman, they even go out for night shows, he told some of his friends that he got a new one i was so angry and terrified to the point that i don't even know what to do, so last week i decided to go online to search for possible means which i can be able to get my man back to me, i saw a comment of a lady who was passed through my same problems posted how a man helped him with prayers, so i beg for his contact and she gave them to me, i contacted the same man and he understand my problem/situations, he prayed for me and my man called me instantly, he was on his kneels begging for me to return, he share tears, i was so surprise, right now me and my man we are in good state, no fight or cheating, he has been restore back to understand there is a good woman like me out here for him, so ladies/women/young girls, go fight for your man no one is gonna fight for you, some advice are real but can't change the mind of your man forever. so if you care about your relationship reach the same man that prayed for me here to help you via, OLORUNODUDUWASPIRITUALTEMPLE@GMAIL. COM

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  • i think it depends on how emotionally invested the are. i've had break ups that really hurt and i've had break ups where i felt fine and ready to move on the next day. it can depend on a lot of things (how the break up goes down, why it occurs, how invested people are, etc) but ultimately it comes down to how emotionally invested you are

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  • I think the more experiences we have with break ups the easier they are to deal with. It's sort of like when we are kids and we scrape our knees we cry like crazy but as adults we learn how to deal with that kind of pain in a more effective way.

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  • The reasoning would depend on the individual. For example, some people are selfish, some people are psychopaths etc, etc.

    A selfish person will be really happy if they wanted to break up or really sad if they didn't.

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  • Some people seem to go through life with a partial disconnect from their feelings. Whatever happens, their emotional responses are blunted and don;t seem to affect them very much.

    Others move forward as a way of avoiding confronting all of their feelings at once. Then, they process those feelings in bits and pieces over time. This is how I handle a break up. When I got divorced 2½ years ago, I was dating before my divorce became final. I still have some sadness about the divorce but it is much better than it was 2½ years ago.

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  • i think it depends on the person personality type, but it also depends, that which person loved more

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  • Some people have been in so many relationship that they have grown to be callous and indifferent about the next person they get involved in a relationship with.

    The other people that can't move on from a relationship are usually people that haven't been in many or really loved a person that they cling to them beyond reason.

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  • High or low self-esteem can be one reason why, or that someone doesn't have a well-rounded life (too much revolves around their partner/spouse).

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  • I guess I would say some believe in the aspect that love is eternal and some believe it's temporary. It's probably better to believe in the latter and be proven wrong...

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  • Maybe it's their way of coping with the loss... getting distracted and pre-occupied with someone else quickly... which is I suppose supressing their feelings...

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  • it al depends on experience and levels of emotional investment i gues. if you had a lot of breakups, iimagine it doesn´t phase you that much anymore. same as if you weren´t really all that into them.

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  • How would i know? I never had a girlfriend.

    But I'm more like a forward mover. No dwelling in the past. That's why i move on rapidly.

    Oh, I'm also damaged goods, so it makes it seem so fast for many.

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  • People just dont care as much or have other people lined up to pick up the emotional slack. Or are more logically sounds amd take solace in the knowledge that they made the right choice in breaking up.

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  • They most likely didn't like that person that much in the first place.

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  • I can move on fast because after a breakup I totally detach from the person, i also do that with family members and former friends.

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  • Either they hide it better, they didn't care as much or their hormones don't create imbalances as much as the brains of others do.

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  • There's no really easy way to walk away from a break-up. Takes months. Just use the good old saying "time heals". So much wisdom in just two words.

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  • Everybody has a variance in emotional resilience, self sufficiency, and stability. Some have dealt with it before, some are just stronger.

    Women as a whole are better at this than men. While men are less emotional than women, their bonds are deeper. A woman can move on without much hardship, it's part of their biological make up - their primary driver is to provide for their offspring, whether they really have them or not.

    For centuries kingdoms were conquered, all the men killed, and the women and children taken into the new kingdom. Those women had to meld into a new society, often taking up with a new husband and creating a new family unit. They're actually quite adept at this, while men generally are emotionally wounded for life.

    The terms loyalty and honesty are more of a state of emotion or feeling for women. If they're not 'feeling it', they'll bail. And they'll fuck anybody any time if they feel like it - just ask them! It's all about the FEELZ. :)

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  • Some people move on quickly from a break up whereas others cannot.

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  • They see the break up coming or planned it themselves and have already moved on.

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