I want to leave a guy but I wanna do it in a way where it doesn't hurt him too much because I truly care about him?

I had a friend. Who's the same age as me which is 18. And well it has been a long time since he has been asking me out. He did date other people too. But he always wanted to have his firsts with somebody really special I guess. His 18th birthday is on the 12th. And he never even kissed a girl due to that reason. In the past when we hung out in moments of weaknesses I have asked him to uhm. But he never gave in. Well that is it till now. I was his first kiss. But I only told him I'd do it if he didn't get emotionally attached.. Which he did. The first thing he asked me after was to date him. Eitherway we've hung out together as if we were a couple. And slowly I began to like his constant doting on me. I guess it felt good to know that I was wanted? And I started feeling more for him too. Another day after hanging out with his cousins it was sort of a double date thing except with three dates? And well we were left alone. He asked me again. And me bein the stupid arse I am gave in and told him if in 3 months we still continue on like this I'll date him. And its been a week since then. Pretty much 3 or so days after I regretted it. Eitherway.. I dont want to break his heart so far into the relationship.. And it feels like the right thing. To not lead him on. So how can I breakup with him? Without him feeling so.. Down? I guess it was that same lowness that made me cave in to going out with him in tbe beginning... Just what can I do? Should I give him a present and say goodbye?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Most people think that a quick short and final goodbye is the best thing. Its not.

    The best breakup possible was when she alowed me to ask questions and say things... thats what my personality craves I guess. I'm ok with truth and reality IF AND WHEN I understand it.

    First - say to him that you want to break up and that its best if its clean cut and this is the last message ever.

    He'll write back. For sure.

    From here on its his doing... he's prolonging it.

    Answer his questions help him understand.
    And showing that it hurts you to do this too will be a great consolation.

    He will think you're stupid for not finding the way at first. I did anyways. Buuut my girlfriend was fundamentally different. Guided by emotions. Decision making with emotions. The explination was not a good one actually. But it showed me how she truly "thinks". I saw that breakup was indeed in order. That we really ARE incompatible.

    I still spilled 3-5 tears but thats the best breakup ever ;)

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Tell him you dont feel that way. You thought you might and you wanted to explore that possibility but you obviously dont. You don't want to keep things going because then he will get more attatched. And you dont want to lead him on.

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What Guys Said 17

  • If you don't want to hurt him "too much", then make it quick, and get it over with. Do not continue to lead him on.

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  • Breakup will always hurt. But they also teach us not to get attached to people too soon, especially not to fall in love so soon without fully understand the other person's intentions. They also teach us that no matter how much you may love someone, there is us nothing you can do make the other person feel the same way. You were wrong to conitue leading him on. Just tell him how you really feel and end it. Stop wasting his time.

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  • No present. Be direct. Be quick. Avoid all contact for at least six months afterward... a year is better. Forever is better still.

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    • But when... His birthday is so near..

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    • Sometimes it just isn't a match even if no one has done anything wrong. Fast is better, just like ripping off a bandage.

    • A year? Shit. I have one, she'll be lucky if I talk to her after 5

  • DONT SAY LETS JUST BE FRIENDS! I know you are trying to be nice but at the end of the day it hurts twice as much.

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  • HAHHAHAHHA!!! OMFG!!! You're so ridiculous!

    Tell you what... You tell me how to break your foot without hurting you and I'll tell you how to dump his ass without hurting him. DUH!!!

    Oh... and as for "staying friends" lol... yea.. that's never going to happen. You haven't been friends at all. He's always just been trying to get into your pants. You really think guys like sitting on the phone listening to you yap about all your issues?

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  • y'all stupid , talk it over and find a solution

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  • Give him a reason, and be done.

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  • Either work things out
    Or move on
    ( There are no easy way to break up, even if u use sweet words it'll still hurt)

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  • Build up to it over time. If you dump that shit all on him at once it will destroy him. Guys aren't smart enough to see it coming a lot of times.

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  • Just tell him how you feel and if he is a true friend or cares about you (which he does cause it shows) he'll understand

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  • Friend zone him

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    • I WAS HIS FIRST KISS. HOW EVEN.

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    • That actually sounds kinda... Simple.. In a way...

    • Yeah, but don't be harsh

  • he has 2 respect u if ever a friend. just let him know u want 2 keep that

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  • Its not yet three months, so jxt turn him down and move on.

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  • Just tell him how you feel. If he's a true friend, he will stay a true friend no matter what happens. Don't listen to people who are telling you he was never really your friend, because I had an experience very similar to yours.

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  • Indifferent from slaughtering an animal. Compassionately quick and fatal with one swoop in the hope it's as painless as it can be

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  • Why do you regret it? Didn't you like him at first?

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  • You can't be friends with. You really shouldn't have caved in so easily. I mean if you don't want to hurt anymore, your better to break it off with him now. He'll be hurt yeah, at first but he'll move on. But he'll move on without you. It's better than leading him on, then he'll just hate you. But with this? He'll be sad for awhile but it's better than him hating you right?

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What Girls Said 1

  • then tell him the reason

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