Why can't I get this off my mind?

I was in a relationship and to be honest, it was not a good one. We had to sneak around to be together and there was a lot of lying to be with each other. That ended about 2 months ago but I can't get her off my mind... I just keep thinking about what I had with her and I feel depressed and down because I don't have her anymore. And things are so bad between her and I that we could never be together... I can't move on. And I find myself crying over it. She was truly my first love but I can't keep doing this to myself. How do I move on?
Why can't I get this off my mind?
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