I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years. 2 weeks ago he went away with his friends and I found out he cheated on me. I asked him because he had been weird and I could tell something was wrong and he admitted to me that he kissed a grl and the grl took his number. he said he's been feeling sh*tty about it and doesn't want to lose me. I know I need to leave this relationship but I am so confused. I told him if we were to get back together he would have to change, as long as the relationship would just have to be different. I told him we both needed time to think about what we wanted. Is it possible for a relationship to go back to normal after cheating? could it work? I love him more than anything but I don't know what to do.
What Guys Said 2
Yes it can...but it's going to take some hard work on both sides. Him not telling you is what most counselors would advise. He screwed up. That guilt is his. As long as he knows it will never happen again he has to carry it to the grave. Telling you would only be an attempt at absolution.
That may sound wrong, but here's the thing. Often that guilt will prevent more or worse happening.
You love him. Enough to forgive and never bring it up again? No matter what? That is the only way you're going to be able to stay with him. If you can't this is going to eat away any trust he tries to rebuild with you.
Seems like a hard task? Think about it from his side. He knows he screwed up. He knows he hurt you. He can't read your mind, so he will never know if you're thinking about what he did. It is going to take years for him to be free of that. Guys tend to hold onto failures for a long time. It's part of the male ego. There's nothing you can do that's going to be worse than the things he's going to do to himself in his own head if he really loves you.0
Off-course it could work he just needs to put the most effort into it. What he did was extremely wrong and he should have to start from the very bottom to earn your trust to the fullest. But although beware they say once a cheater, always a cheater...but if he knows right from wrong he would change his ways. Nevertheless, be cautious though, and good luck with everything ms.0
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