How can I move on?

My ex told me last week that he is no longer in love with me, 2 days before that he told me that I could possibly win him back, then boom! He no longer loves me. Our relationship has been a roller coaster and I never felt like I could get off it. He comes in and out of my life all the time giving me hope that we'll be together only to crush it time and time again. I loved him so much, and it hurts for him to say what he said. I loved him and he just kept playing me.

This time around I had enough and stood up for myself which he didn't like very much. I haven't been able to handle his rejection I keep texting and calling him to try to get him to rethink his decision, but he keeps saying, "I don't love you anymore." And "leave me alone" but I can't leave him alone. I'm so heart broken. How can he change his mind in 2 days? I know in the past I made my mistakes and I've apologized for them for 3 years, he has never forgiven me or moved on from what happened. He blames me for everything and says such hurtful and mean things, then when I snap and say hurtful things back he no longer loves me anymore.

I want to talk to him to explain everything, but he doesn't want to listen. He'll never change his mind. I sit and think of ways to win him back, but nothing will work. I don't understand. I don't get why he won't block me from everything if he doesn't want me talking to him anymore, why does he keep responding to me when I text him if he wants nothing to do with me? He asked me today, "why do you want to text someone who doesn't love you." And I said, "texting you now is like texting you before, it still feels the same." Then he said, "I don't want you to text me." I keep getting mad and lashing out at him. Every time we have one of our falling outs he gets with someone else the very next day and that hurts. He makes me feel easily replaceable. As if I didn't matter. How can I move on and get over him?

Updates:
Another reason why he says that he doesn't love me is because I blow up his phone when I'm angry. He knows what to do to set me off, and I told him to keep certain things to himself because he Knows how I can be, but he doesn't care. He doesn't then I get upset and then he gets upset that I'm upset then starts ignoring me which makes me angry so I flip out and start texting him like crazy. He knows that I hate it when he ignores me, rather than be an adult and talk about it he avoids it.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Very simple.. make your intentions clear, and then walk away. DO NOT contact him again. Use that time to work on yourself. Clear your head, and take time for you. If he comes back you'll be at stage where YOU decide. Pull away let him miss you. Then if he comes back make him put all the work in. If he comes back you may by that time because of the work you've done, and the clear head, find that you don't actually want him. You can then set him strait. Hopefully his regret will make him think hard about the next person so he won't hurt someone else.

    If he has a negative view of you now, and you continue with contact even in a different way e. g. Less of it.. different tone.. more flirty or whatever it will on enforce his negative view. He needs to change the way he thinks of you with time, space and distance.

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    • I appreciate your advice! I'll do that. I know it's pointless to try to talk to him now because he's angry and upset with me. I doubt he'll come back especially with how crazy I'm acting, but I'm trying to fight. He told me if you love someone you shouldn't have to fight for it. I was like huh? No matter what I do he still pushes me away. I left him alone for one day and I texted him and his tone was a little nicer towards me. I'll leave him alone for good and let him think about everything that has happened. I've taken accountability for my actions he hasn't, he thinks it's all my fault even though I've apologized. He sees things his way and that's it. It hurts when he keeps saying he doesn't love me anymore, but maybe with distance and time he might.

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    • I blocked him on social media to help me move on. It's only been a week since he has said what he said. The more I talk to him the more and more I aggravate him. Know the first week of no contact is hard, but once I can get past a week I know I'll be able to o longer. I still have good and bad memories of us and my feelings are confused, like I want to hate him, but I can't. I need some time to figure out myself maybe I'll have it all figured out if and when he does decide to come back.

    • Exactly correct just leave him, and figure out where you went wrong as he has told you. Then if he comes back you'll be different, you won't repeat the same mistakes. You'll also not make hose mistakes with the next guy too.

What Guys Said 1

  • I would like to know the outcome of all this very curious.

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What Girls Said 1

  • Cut him off your life completely. You are the one who keeps hurting yourself. He already told you he doesn't love you anymore and he clearly doesn't give a fck if you hurting. He doesn't want you back. What else do you need to hear from him? Cut him loose and just love yourself. Do not text or call or stalk him online. Delete/block him. You need to purge him out of your system. Cry it out. You need to wean off of him so you learn to live on your own without him anymore. Respect yourself. Surround yourself with your friends and family. The more you chase him, the more he runs away. Just stop. IT IS OVER.

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    • Starting today he'll never hear from me again. I'll be gone from his mind and whatever else. I guess I just wanted some closure or just some sort of sign that he does in some way love me, but he doesn't, not anymore. I know when there is other girls in the picture I don't matter anymore. It's crazy how he can just get with someone right after him dropping me. He say that they're not the reason for his decision, but I don't believe him. I'm still in shock and deep down inside I don't want to believe him when he says that he doesn't love me. I'm in denial. I get it's over, but my heart doesn't. I wish I could move on so quickly like he can and not Care.

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    • finally you said it - TOXIC. do you want poison? that's him. :)

    • He can go be venomous to someone else, not me.

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