How do you tell a girl that she talks to you too much?

Background: I was a player and messed up my game and fell for a girl that didn't want a boyfriend. She turned into my best friend and we started being romantic and the non-committed relationship ended with her saying we shouldn't kiss or bang anymore.

Now I have a lot of friends and I did want her to be my girlfriend. She is my best friend but she is becoming really annoying and texting me, basically, every day and night. "What are you doing", blah blah nag nag and listening to her problems. It's overboard.

I was thinking of just telling her "Hey, I think we are talking way too much. Lets keep things fresh and only talk to each other once or twice a week". What I have to keep in mind is that I talked to her everyday when we were "dating" and when the no sex or kissing thing showed it's prude face, I lost interest but I cannot let her know because I don't know if she is just testing me because we only known each other for about three months.

Weird, I know. The only reason why I think she is testing me because right before I left her place that last day of kissing and sex we held each other for about 10 minutes and she started crying, we made out for another 5 minutes near the door and she stood outside watching me walk away. A lot, but whatever.

Bah, boyfriend and girlfriend relationships are weird. That's probably why I stayed away from them. Any input would be nice, even not even answering the question can fly. Whatever input toots my horn, I will award.

I forgot to add the reason why she is also becoming somewhat annoying is because she has been pretty depressed and lonely. Dealing with that does become a bit of a downer and a hassle to deal with and I think it does pertain to tests. She has trust issues
I do want to be with her though
Hehe, you know f*** it. I love my lifestyle and I don't want to deal with this so early in life. Too much of a hassle, shoot, I can have this crap later on in life. If she wants me, then she will have to get me, but I am not dealing with b.s. I don't need


Most Helpful Guy

  • Ask what does she want from you...

    Ask yourself what you want from her...

    If they match, then good.. if they don't match go your separate ways..

    She must be pretty for you to put up with this...

    • She doesn't know what she wants, so it makes it more difficult to determine a solution. I have to wait on her to make a decision and accept that I am being true. And yeah, she is a 10/10 hispanic, with long black hair, airbrushed face, and a tone ass. I am pretty happy with her.

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    • Yeah the sooner you accept it the better.... I know it sort off hurts but you'll get over it and someone new will come round..

    • Only text her a couple times a week even if she is texting you all the time just ignore her. She will get the hint.

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What Girls Said 4

  • She is trying to get you to commit to her. Sounds like you don't want that. Maybe you should let her know.

    • How is she trying to get me to commit with her when she seems like she is trying to get rid of me. I forgot to note that before this, she didn't want a relationship prior to this one. She got really attached to me and it seems like now she is trying to become unattached. I am just confused at her motives and I know if I ask her, she will just tell me that she wants to be friends. However, I think this is some test to see if I am just using her for sex. What do you make of it?

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    • Re-reading all of this, it looks like she may be friendzoning you, actually. If her blabbing bugs you, just act busier and don't take all her calls and ignore a few txts.

    • Yeah, I was going to show her that if she didn't want to accept me as a boyfriend figure then I wouldn't pay her the attention I was offering her before. Hopefully she get the picture, I will expect her to confront me later down the lines about not giving her attention and that will be a point where she will discover what she actually wants.

  • I know this was awhile ago, but she obviously had feelings for you. She was crying after you guys had sex. She goes to you when she needs you the most. You hear her out, and maybe she doesn't get that with anyone else. I know it's a burden but you never tell a girl she talks too much. It will only make her mad and bitter. I think that will be worse. We already know that, and we are doing our best but if this happens again, tell the girl to get a journal and write down her thoughts, to engulf herself in some hobbies to keep from feeling down, and maybe suggest a therapist. Don't tell her she's crazy and don't make it seem that way. Be like, therapists are trained professionals that can help you, and I don't think I can do that right now with the things going on in my life. I'm sorry. Hopefully this girl has matured and been able to deal with the tough stuff on her own.

  • some girls can be a hassle... I know I have been to my boyfriend at times, we talk ever single day ever since we got to each other, but we grew into love. not all relationships are the same. just ask yourself this: "would I ever marry this girl?" also. you mentioned maybe she was depressed and how she started crying, do you know why she was crying? and if she's upset dude figure out why she's depressed, ik I would want my boyfriend to ask me what's wrong.

    and as for to ask her to stop talking so much, just tell her that you think you guys talk a little bit to much. and be sure not to be harsh with your words when you do talk to her. basicly just give it sometime and in the near future once things get better (if they do) buy her her favorite flowers or take her out to eat.

    if you really want to be with her you will give yourselves time to make things right and get better. do you love this girl?

  • Welll if she is your best friend you would probably not mind hanging out with hr more then once or twice a week. So, I guess she appealed top you before because you could be intimate- that is not bad,but don't fool yourself & don't fool her. If you just want to be friends for a certain amount of time tell her that. Don't start playing games now. If she us testing you that's immature anyways, Just d what you wee gonna do- life is too short for games,but did you want a relationship - or did she? Or you guys were basically bfwb

    • We were just best friends f***ing and we got attached after spending a lot of time together.... I actually wanted a relationship, she never really wanted one to begin with.... I guess I just noticed that, I guess I kind of pushed it and she fell for me. I feel like she is testing me because she has trust issues (she told me) and wants to know If I really do like her or If I am using her for sex. I don't know what to make of it, it just gets confusing.

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    • The only thing was that for that last time I was with her, we were laying in bed hugging and kissing. I did say I wanted to her to be my girlfriend and the only thing she did was hug me closer and later on we told each other we loved each other. She is friend-zoning me, at least temporarily, and I won't have that. If she wants the attention I gave her when we were in our "non-commitement relationship" then we would have to be exclusive. Otherwise I am just dealing with crap so other men wont...

    • I want to her to be the girl she was when we were somewhat of a couple. So I don't want to throw her away completely. I know I can't force anything because I simply can't, however I am in the position to manipulate the relationship by choosing to be her friend now and just continue with this. Only if she wants to "have her cake and eat it". Wutcha think?

What Guys Said 1

  • Tell her how you feel; she may not realize she is doing what she's doing, or she may not realize that it's bothering you this much. If you don't tell her there's a problem, she'll never know.

    Be open with her, and expect the same. Unspoken tensions and relationship politics only complicate what you have. Just tell her how you feel; if a partner in a relationship is worth their weight in salt, they'll be open to hearing problems, and will try to compromise. Learning to compromise with each other is the only way for any relationship to survive, so try to meet her half way, if you can. Just communicate with her.

    • Only problem was that I did and she didn't give me an answer. It was during a very long foreplay session and she just hugged harder and started to kiss. She doesn't trust me, she told me that and I suppose needs time to think. However, if she expects to give her the attention I gave her when we were in a non-commitment relationship, that's going to be a problem.

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