My boyfriend won't stop liking pictures of half naked girls. Even though he knows that it is causing problems between us and how much it bothers me. Its the only issue in our relationship. Whenever I confront him and tell him how it makes me feel, he always promises me that he will stop and says that I don't deserve to feel like this and that he's sorry. It always seems sincre but he doesn't stop. We've been together a year and I've been talking to him about this since we started dating. I feel like it's more important to him to like girls pictures then how it makes me feel. And It sucks when someone promises you something over and over but never keeps their promises. I've tried to not let it bother me but it really does. I don't understand why he won't just stop.
Most Helpful Guy
Below is the reply I gave to this question:
"Help, I found out my boyfriend is following a fuck ton of porn stars?"
You may not be as controlling as that young lady, but I am still a bit concerned and feel my advice may apply to you too.
Honey, you need to relax and remember The Old Italian Housewive's Proverb:
"It doesn't matter where your husband gets his appetite as long as he eats at home."
Now, I hope you are about to listen to me now and save yourself several decades of misery...
I understand and empathize with your situation, but you are rather controlling. You have this script in your mind that your boyfriend needs to follow and, if he deviates from that, then you are upset with him and let him know and if he keeps it up, you get madder - which is why you are asking your G@G question right now.
Well, what you need to do is abandon that micromanagement of the relationship. Instead of being concerned that you are "not enough" for him, ask yourself "Is he actually doing anything that genuinely threatens this relationship?" ( After all, is he going to have sex with any of these porn starts?)
The bottom line is he isn't doing any truly harmful to your relationship; he's just not following your script.
HOWEVER, if you keep up, YOU will be the one doing irreparable harm to your relationship. You see, he will slowly learn to hate all of these constraints that you are putting on him to follow your script. If he doesn't dump you outright for a girl who is less controlling, he will instead shut-down. He won't love you - that's guaranteed - and he will stop caring about you or take an interest in you. You will notice and drama will ensue. Soon, all he will want to do is have peace and freedom and be away from you. This is exactly the #1 reason why men cheat.
So, not just with this boyfriend but with any and all future boyfriends, ask yourself if what he is doing is all that bad and if it genuinely threatens the relationship. If it yes, yes, fight for yourself and let the drama fly. However, if it is really harmless like his interest in porn like all guys his age, then you are "making a mountain out of a molehill" and you WILL lose that man; he will dump you or you will be with an emotional zombie who secretly wants to be away from you as much as possible. Is that the kind of relationship you want? Too many women fail to realize this and men eventually learn that they like peace and freedom A LOT more.
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