Why are men so abrupt about breakups?

I've always looked at the whole breakup deal as being a fairly involved process that requires certain protocols to be followed by both the man and the woman. And I try to keep to that in order to keep things civil. But it's hard because men seem to want to instantly cut off all contact and put you and all the happy times you had together behind them. They seem to be able to do this as if it was nothing to them. HOW? How and why are men able to just push you out of their life the second you break up? Does this mean they never cared about you to begin with? I just don't understand...


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What Guys Said 1

  • Men won't break up with you until the feelings are already dead.

    Also, men are able to compartmentalize their feelings when YOU break up with him.

    The first part of my answer is probably the kind of answer you were looking for.

    Because if you break up with him, why would you care at all if he cares anymore afterwords?

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    • So if you broke up with someone and realized it was a horrible mistake but they just cut you out of their lives like you never happened.... once they "compartmentalize" their feelings do guys ever get those feelings back?

    • If I broke up with someone, there would be no doubt about it... it was not a mistake. I will give every chance I can emotionally afford before taking that critical step. Because for me, it's like cutting off a limb. Once it is done, even if it can be re-attached, it will never be back to 100%... never the same again. So that's why (for me) it is so absolute when it is over.

What Girls Said 1

  • I think for guys it's a long time coming. So, when they break up with someone, it's been an itch for a couple weeks, but they finally scratch that itch when they stop contacting you. For some reason, a boy lets little things about the girl eat at him until he can't take it anymore. Unfortunately, it's not that he never cared, it's that the bad things about the relationship outweigh the good by the time it's officially over. He cuts his losses, in that sense. Therefore, he figures he's better off alone or with someone else.

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    • This is a very good answer and very much right on the nose. It eats at them for awhile until they can't take it anymore, whatever "it" might be. It might be something real simple that you were not even aware of, or something more obvious like a fight or something..

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