Why is he reaching out to me after 3 weeks of breaking up?

I told him that I couldn't be with someone who was controlling and who didn't know if he could be monogamous, and ended the relationship. I told him that the only way we could be together is if he sought counseling for his issues. 3 weeks later, he texts me inviting me to a football game. But, then he cancels on me. What should I make of this? Does this mean he's considering making a change?


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What Guys Said 2

  • ahh, the short answer is he wants attention, he wants it to see if you're still there, its not that he's changed, if it was he would have done better than a ball game, to me, all he wants is some conversation with an ex, and why should you give him any more than that, if you dont want anything more to do with him, talk to him (only if he starts first, if not then dont bother even texting) like he's anyone else (you know like anyone who texts you out of the blue), then see if he wants to keep talking.

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    • How do I know if he's really changed? So you're saying that he just did it out of boredom? He confessed to me that he loved me and begged me not to leave him...

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    • I'm unsure because I have no idea if he's changed or not.

    • a conversation should be enough, he'll do something about it if he genuinely cares. If i wanted to know if someone has changed, I would have see it before i belive it. but thats me.

  • Probably not, might just be missing you, if he had actually made a change then he wouldn't have canceled right? If he actually made a change he would PROVE it to you. Stop contacting him for 30 days, even if he texts you IGNORE it. Space and time will do you both some good and so you can see clearly. Seems like he's just leading you on which will only leave you with a headache, so do yourself a favour and stop thinking about it and focus on yourself. Hope this helps.

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    • He canceled because his friend cancelled on him and that was his ride to come over. But, he was seriously going to go. What do you mean when you say that he was leading me on? I was the one who broke up with him.
      The change had to do with other forms of controlling behavior. Perhaps he was intending on telling me in person that he was going to go to counseling? I don't know.

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    • Ask me out? Or tell me that he's changed?

    • To ask you out.

What Girls Said 1

  • People never change until they're left with no other option.

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    • I disagree. I have changed because I realized I had a problem.

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    • After only 3 weeks? No. Change takes time.

    • It depends on the person. For some people it may take months, for some it may take years. It suddenly just hits them. I remember I dumped an old boyfriend for not wanting to commit to a relationship and a few weeks later, he was telling me how much he missed me and why he refused to commit. That doesn't happen in the majority of cases, but it did for me. I guess love can be powerful enough for people to change, but the time varies from person to person. I'm still not sure if this guy changed, but I guess actions will tell.

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