Am I wrong at all in this situation?

I'm engaged to be married in 6 months. I thought that i could literally trust my fiance with any and everything. There were two subjects that are very important to me and i told him not to share this information with anyone, including his mother. Some back story. His mother and i have had our differences and we recently worked them out via a long conversation that she, my fiance and I had several months ago. My fiance asked that i didn't share that i had this conversation with anyone close to me because basically it's no one elses' business. And he stressed that i don't tell anyone so i didn't. So recently I had surgery and I didn't want anyone to know, only those very close to me, which includes my fiance. But, he told his mom that i was having surgery -- he didn't tell her what type of sugery, but he still told her. When he told me that he told her, i got really annoyed, but his defense was that he didn't tell her what is was four and he was sorry. So i'm planning to make a major decision in my life soon, that i didn't want him to share this information with anyone, including his mother. So i saw his mom the other day and she made a comment that triggered me to ask my fiance if he told her about the subject that i specially asked him not to say anything about, and he told me he did. His defense was that he wasn't going to tell her when i actually made the decision and that he was sorry. I got so mad to the point where i told him that i can't trust him, which is how i feel. And he's very manipulative, so as soon as I said that I can't trust to tell him things anymore, he just made me feel guilty by saying "ohhh you can't trust me. you're not going to tell me things. oh, alright". Then today he said if i can't trust him why are we getting married, and i told him he was right and maybe we shouldn't move forward. Am i wrong at all in this situation?


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What Guys Said 1

  • are you right? who knows with the limited info we have... one thing is for sure though and that is that you aren't taking into account his feelings in all of this.

    On the one hand he is has the woman he loves and his mother at each others throats and on the other hand, his fiancee is due to under go surgery... which i assume must be for something serious?

    So the 2 women he cares most about dont get along and he is worried something might happen to you.

    did you ever think he told his mum because he needed to talk about?

    im not saying he was right to tell her when you clearly told him not to, what i am saying is that he may have had a reason for doing so.

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What Girls Said 1

  • That's bad. I've never dealt with a manipulative boyfriend and never been engaged but I feel like you're totally right. Despite how he feels he shouldn't be sharing things you want to keep secret in your relationship. What if you guys get married and there becomes some... intamicy problems (just for example)? If it stemed from you how would you feel if he told his mother? And if it seemed from him he'd expect you to keep it to yourself right? And even if he doesn't tell her the whole secret... its still invading your privacy. Maybe do the same to him and see how he feels. Plus he's telling everything to his mom when he's about to be married. That's like a kid still breastfeeding when he's going to first grade. I'm not saying he shouldn't talk to his mom, but telling her secrets about someone he knows like a high school girl with a gossip problem? Whether his mom's his best friend or not, you're his soon to be wife and he AT LEAST needs to treat you the way he wants to be treated. You deserve the same respect he does. If he at least can't do that in my opinion he isn't mature enough to be married yet.

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