She was the first girl I fell for. My first girlfriend. Was with her for 9yrs. I loved her. I have never cared about anyone, like the way I cared for her. Then she cheated on me. We broke up.
After that I tried everything, and have reached a point where I can live my daily life without breaking down. We had common friends, and now i have distanced myself from them. I have distanced myself from everything that could remind me of her. I even changed my job. Changed my city.
Now even after 2yrs, I don't want to look at any other girl. I haven't tried dating. Or hookups. I haven't been laid since the breakup. I never felt like it. I don't want to.
But there is this void. It feels like it will never go away. No matter what I do. I feel lonely. I feel alone. I feel useless.