I've been dating my boyfriend for 2 years. He was on vacation when I met him. We met and were instantly inseparable. I thought it was love at first sight. He postponed his leaving for a week to stay with me and eventually moved across the country for me a couple of months later. He is my first serious relationship. Keep in mind- I'm in my mid 20s and never wanted anything serious until I met him. I am a very ambitious person and am attracted to ambition and success. He's everything I want in a man minus that. he's sweet, caring, great with my family, and overall perfect boyfriend other than his laziness and lack of ambition. He's always broke and can't afford to do anything and I don't see that changing anytime soon. But even when he is broke, he will take every dollar he has and spend it on me. For the past couple of months, I've been resenting him and even hating that he is lazy and doesn't pursue a career. He says he wants to own a restaurant one day but with no plan or drive to do so. He's just all words and no action every time I bring up his future and career. With every talk we have about it, the more I lose faith that he will get it together. All I want is the best for him and for us in the future. Am I being selfish for pushing him? my nagging seems to annoy him more but his lack of action drives me nuts. Does this feeling of resentment end? Or should I just put an end to the relationship?
Most Helpful Guy
I think you have to base the decision on how happy you are. Don't worry about being selfish if he is being even more selfish by not making a huge effort. He might just be the sort of person who needs a big push. Im like that in a sense so I can tell you from my experience. My anxiety (not sure if this could be an issue for your boyfriend) holds me back a lot and even though i often say "im going to do this" or "im going to do that" I often get stuck at the starting line. My partner is very good at nudging me off the edge in such a way that i never really feel like she is nagging me or pushing me0
Most Helpful Girl
The lack of action conflicts with your ambitiousness. If you truly feel that this is not something you want for the rest of your life, then either try to discuss it with him (so he might actively try to improve on that), or leave. You can not change him. Only he can.0