Should I break up with my lazy boyfriend or am I just being selfish?

I've been dating my boyfriend for 2 years. He was on vacation when I met him. We met and were instantly inseparable. I thought it was love at first sight. He postponed his leaving for a week to stay with me and eventually moved across the country for me a couple of months later. He is my first serious relationship. Keep in mind- I'm in my mid 20s and never wanted anything serious until I met him. I am a very ambitious person and am attracted to ambition and success. He's everything I want in a man minus that. he's sweet, caring, great with my family, and overall perfect boyfriend other than his laziness and lack of ambition. He's always broke and can't afford to do anything and I don't see that changing anytime soon. But even when he is broke, he will take every dollar he has and spend it on me. For the past couple of months, I've been resenting him and even hating that he is lazy and doesn't pursue a career. He says he wants to own a restaurant one day but with no plan or drive to do so. He's just all words and no action every time I bring up his future and career. With every talk we have about it, the more I lose faith that he will get it together. All I want is the best for him and for us in the future. Am I being selfish for pushing him? my nagging seems to annoy him more but his lack of action drives me nuts. Does this feeling of resentment end? Or should I just put an end to the relationship?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I think you have to base the decision on how happy you are. Don't worry about being selfish if he is being even more selfish by not making a huge effort. He might just be the sort of person who needs a big push. Im like that in a sense so I can tell you from my experience. My anxiety (not sure if this could be an issue for your boyfriend) holds me back a lot and even though i often say "im going to do this" or "im going to do that" I often get stuck at the starting line. My partner is very good at nudging me off the edge in such a way that i never really feel like she is nagging me or pushing me

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Most Helpful Girl

  • The lack of action conflicts with your ambitiousness. If you truly feel that this is not something you want for the rest of your life, then either try to discuss it with him (so he might actively try to improve on that), or leave. You can not change him. Only he can.

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What Guys Said 2

  • Well it is the 21 century and this is the question i downloaded this app for..
    So you are a millionaire trapped by a bum? Bums are so cool for the first 3 months then you realized why.. Because you were talking to yourself and you achieved your social maturity by using a boyfriend to understand yourself. LEAVE! Things are only going to get better. Momma is going to know that her daughter didn't let some lowlife turn her daughter into a housewife. Daddy is going to be proud of his daughter because she can leave the losers and become successful. Looking at yourself 3 years from now your going to have a hot sex life better social circle and a career that will be flexible enough that you know you dont want to give up on some guy that bought you flowers after your menstration time and chocolates after you had a hot bath. Dont let your emotiins get caught up in time, everyday is a new opporunity to make changes

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  • Easy way out. Do you make enough for both and ate able to go through life without both being broke. If yes than why or what for the ambition. He loves you and you should cherish that vs any financial bullshit. Instead take he's ass to a business management class to start that restaurant And if that doesn't work than dishwashing is a way to encourage for that restaurant

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