Girlfriend (now ex) says I can have the money back I paid to her for the flights, but she hasn't yet and I'm trying to stay no contact?

After 2 months relationship (3 months together), she broke up over text with the usual excuses, etc.

We had a holiday to Italy planned in 4 weeks but she told me in the breakup text "Obviously that means cancelling the Italy trip but as Italy means so much to you I would rather you go away with someone who you can have a better time with. The hotels are refundable but as we have paid for the flights we can't get the money back but because I'm the one who has decided this if you want the money back that you've paid for the flights I will give it you back"

After I phoned her to talk about the breakup, I asked at the end if she would be able to send me the money I paid her for my part of the flight and she told me to send her my account details to transfer it across.

It's Sunday night now and that was a whole day ago and she hasn't. We still have each other on Facebook and she posted a picture of herself smiling holding her medal from a race she did, which I thought was a bit raw after breaking up with me.

How should I approach this? I don't exactly want to contact her as I'd rather stay no contact so 1) I can move on and 2) as I've sensed she was acting interested in person right before the breakup so I want to see if "no contact" might make her miss me and I can improve on myself in that time.

Could I get my sister to contact her on Facebook asking if she can transfer the money? I wouldn't have gone with this plan as it means she would have to pay both of our tickets, but she broke things off and offered the money back and everyone I know has told me to take it.


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What Girls Said 1

  • Get in there and get you money back. Keep the conversation strictly business. Once you get your payment, go back to no contact and delete her from Facebook if you want.

    • I was thinking of deleting her on Facebook right after, but I just want to tag myself in places I go to and if she sees it then great, she can see that I'm having a fun and active life with or without her. She pointlessly posted a picture of herself smiling next to her medal she won when a picture of the medal or just the status would have sufficed. I'm guessing maybe it was because I posted a status early joking about something when she'd probably be expecting me to be "down and depressed" following the break up.

      I'll see if my sister can get hold of her so I don't have to, it sends a message that I want no further contact. Going to wait until Tuesday though to give enough time incase the bank has a delay of 1-2 days sending it.

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    • I won't keep you long on here, but my status on FB following the split was "Things happen, time to move on!" in which a few good looking girls "liked" it and then the following morning I made a joke about something that happened at work that got attention.

      Then I noticed my ex posted a facebook status for the first time in two weeks a couple of hours after mine mentioning the run she did and her medal, but posts a picture of herself with a large smile holding it. I guess it annoyed me as it's like she wasn't bothered about the breakup but maybe she felt the same about my facebook statuses too.

      When she broke up with me over text, she still kept our relationship status for 4 hours on FB. But I beat her to it by removing it and making myself single, so at least I look like I'm happy after it and maybe she was expecting me to beg her back (like she did with her ex) but I didn't.

    • She probably did feel the same after seeing your statuses, and was just putting on a happy appearance for Facebook. Any kind of split always leaves some pain or heartbreak if you cared about the other person, which seems to be the case here with the both of you.
      I hope I've been at least a little bit helpful here lol, and that things work out in the end. ✌🏻

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